Let us fill our hearts with our own compassion – towards ourselves and towards all living beings. (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Learning to be in the moment,
Sinking into the breath.
Becoming only this body breathing.
All sensation accepted.
As what this moment is about.
Thoughts put aside,
To hear the sound
Of the vibration of all being.
To feel the wine
Of the essence of all being
Flowing through all that is.
Nina Massey
Filtering through a Paradigm
As you are reading, you may find a conversation going on in your head, evaluating the ideas. Perhaps you immediately discard some thoughts that you judge as bad ideas, impossible to implement, too much work, something deep inside that you don’t want to examine. Many of us do this. You are not alone. Each of us filters what we see and hear through a mindset, based on paradigms which are a lens that covers our vision. Often, we look for and listen to ideas that reinforce and agree with what we already believe.
Freedom of thought allows us to openly consider ideas, and without judgement or further negative thoughts, and to let some go to the wayside. Being open-minded means we allow ourselves to listen to and consider the ideas of others. Flexibility allows us to adjust and change our paradigms, fitting in new ideas we did no previously consider. Finding new ways to see the world and others in it is an opportunity to change our life.
According to dictionary.com, a paradigm is a cognitive framework containing the basic assumptions and ways of thinking shared by members of a group. Some call the spreading of a way of thinking ‘contagion.’ Most of us have several points of view or paradigms, sometimes referred to as lenses, through which we see the world. We tend to want to hang out with others of ‘like mind.’ We find comfort in their reinforcement that our ways of thinking are right. When we read or watch the news on TV or hear it on the radio, we tend to pay attention to points of view that agree and reinforce our existing views. If we don’t agree or like the speaker, we reach for the remote and change the channel. On social media, we only friend those who’s point of view we find agreement with. This is our mindset, often set in concrete and unchangeable. Taking the opportunity to consider the view point of others can be the beginning of many changes in our relationships with family, friends and co-workers.
Shifting our paradigms can be difficult, but it is possible. It is by taking actions to think differently, to do practices that we can find an easy way to shift. ‘Practice’ is a term used in many spiritual communities to mean certain prayers, affirmations of qualities, cleaning of our energy field etc. This writing is about scrubbing our minds, clearing the way to openness and freedom to have positive thoughts.
My heart will have a song to sing
Of love & joy.
Of the ecstasy of being.
One of the incredible lightness of being.
Of the knowledge that there is a greater life than this.
A song of warmth.
A song of joy.
A song of at-one-ment.
A true gift of Christmas.
Birth, death & rebirth.
Loneliness comes from a heart
That touched the One.
A separation from this is
A parting of light into darkness.
Loneliness,
Depression,
Alone.
Nina Massey
Habits and Tendencies
Many years ago, Arthur L. Costa[1] developed a way of teaching students how intelligent people act in ways that help them succeed. He included characteristics such as “persistence and managing impulsivity, listening with understanding and empathy, thinking flexibly, etc.” He wanted to find a way to help students understand and realize that many of the patterns in their minds were simply tendencies and habits. One can train one’s mind to react differently, with open-mindedness, and thus act with more intelligence. I say also from my own experience that one can train one’s mind to look for beauty, to forgive, to feel gratitude, and thus have a happier outlook on life.
The Comedy of the Vain
Ah, the vain, glorious beauty of heroes.
Once pride was a valuable commodity
A great weapon of strength and survival.
But pride is the enemy of surrender
The obstacle of softening into allowing
The Divine Bliss to flow freely.
Have no comedy with the vain.
Look not at the peacock strutting,
Nor listen to the squawking pride of the turkey.
Look instead deeply within
Finding the One Lord of Bliss
Softening every hard place to the flow.
Nina Massey
Judging and Classifying
Classifying means putting something into ‘classes.’ Creativity can be stifled by the habits and tendencies we have to judge our own work and that of others. Mentally comparing it to some external referent that we judge to be better can be detrimental. Being creative means being open to surprises and new possibilities, and not expecting and seeing the worst in our projects and in other people.
Sometimes people have a comfort level and sense of security that comes with being able to name something, to label it and therefore close the door to any further thought about it. People often use personality tests and models to do this, such as Meyers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc. It allows one to put someone in a box, say oh, that’s …, and dismiss them from the mind. One suggestion might be to not be too quick at naming and labeling. Using these instruments to understand the ways of others might be more helpful. A deeper look under the outer appearances may bring new, different and creative thoughts to mind. Be open to knowing that we all only know a small part of someone. They may have many other facets like a jewel, of skills, abilities, traits, that we have not yet seen, because they are manifest in a different setting, time, interaction, etc.
My Mother’s Legacy
A legacy of sorrow,
Regret, unfulfilled longings,
Always wondering how things
Could be, should be, might be.
A legacy of tears,
Compassion for her own depth of sorrow
Her own regret and unfulfilled longings.
A legacy of determination,
To live a life of love & fulfillment
To openly communicate
And carry out our destiny.
A legacy of faith
Lived through daily works
And daily knowledge of God
In our hearts and souls.
Nina Massey
Reacting
Many times, in our lives we react with anger, impulsively pushing out our thoughts and feelings in a dark, negative way toward others. Sometimes we wonder where did that come from? Why do I feel so bad, so deeply about this thing others might consider small and not so important? We feel as though ‘we have our backs up against the wall.’ Perhaps we could continue to ask ourselves a few questions to find the source, the memories of other times that were in some way like today’s incidence. All of us walk about with baggage, carrying with us hurt, pain, disappointment, disillusionment, etc. Being able to remember to take a deep breath and look inside for our part of a situation, and not just impulsively hurting another, helps us improve our relationships.
Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len was a Hawaiian therapist who healed criminally insane patients in a hospital by healing himself. He practiced and ancient Hawaiian way called “Ho’opnonpono, which means to make right.”[2] When we accept that we are responsible for what we see in the world, because we see it through our minds, we begin to understand what Hew Len did. He accepted that he had a part in everything he saw outside of himself, because he created his point of view in his own mind. He thought about each patient individually, and he prayed this prayer to them with all of his heart and mind in focus: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”
[1] Costa, Arthur L. and Kallick, Bena. Learning and Leading with Habits of Mind. ASCD, 2008.
[2] From http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm