“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.”
(Lao Tzu)
We can begin each day with connecting with the Divine in our hearts. You can do this reciting a wazifa, a mantra, an affirmation, a prayer with all the concentration and devotion you can bring to the practice. Each of us connects to the Divine in our own way. By consciously intending to connect, we can find our way to start each day within a field of sacred relationship. Begin each day wholeheartedly!
Each moment during the day allows for a new start. If we simply take a deep breath and enter our heart, we can begin our task anew with a new energy, refreshed by our love for the Divine.
By watching nature and how it changes through the seasons, daily through the everchanging weather, the passing of day and night, the changing of the light and its qualities, we can have a metaphor for impermanence. The falling and melting of the snow, the greening and the colorful falling of the leaves, the warming and cooling of the air throughout the day, give us opportunities to dee the natural changes. By realizing how natural change is all around us, we can see beauty in the variety. We can learn to fully appreciate and embrace diversity, innovation and transformation.
Time is inextricably connecting with beginnings and impermanence. Morning, afternoon and evening, day and night, winter and summer, the autumn of life all occur and offer opportunities for new beginnings.
Everything changes. Nothing lasts forever, even though it might seem like it does. The Buddhist concept of impermanence reminds us that everything dies, our bodies, our ideas, our relationships. Clinging causes suffering. Letting go allows us to move forward, and begin anew. And remembering that our love for those we lose can be a gift, deepening our ability to love again if we allow for a new beginning.
Absence and disappearance of those we care about is part of life. Our friendships change as we change our desires, occupations, entertainment activities. We begin anew with new everchanging relationships. People in our lives pass away to another realm. We are left behind, missing them and yet our love for them remains, changed to memories and longing.
Each time we notice and realize something about ourselves that we do not like, we are given an opportunity, a condition favorable for a new beginning. Perhaps we vow to not react the same way. Perhaps we promise ourselves that we will do the work now, today. Sometimes we turn from the ruminating, the situation to the Divine, asking for assistance, reframing the pain of the moment as a gift from God, that we might learn and grow as we go. By noticing the things we are successful at, our strengths, our accomplishments, we see that we have the power to begin something new. Gratitude reminds us that love is at the basis of all our achievements.
Forgiveness of ourselves and of others opens a doorway for a new beginning. It frees us from the bonds of recrimination and anger. Conflict causes mental turmoil, which may cause us to run around and around with thoughts of pain and suffering.[1] Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what the other person did was okay. But by turning our minds to the Divine, we can remove some of our own suffering. Accepting the humanity and weaknesses of our friends and family and showing them love in their vulnerability and imperfection gives an opportunity for change and new beginnings.
The well-spring of hope streaming from our hearts gives us the courage to move forward, to begin again.[2]The belief that life and circumstances can get better can motivate us to take the first step, to begin a new path toward happiness.
[1] Enright, Robert (2015). Eight Keys to Forgiveness. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_keys_to_forgiveness
[2] Ayya Yeshe, Sister Clear grace and Oren Jay Sofer (2020). Ask the teachers: What is the Buddhist view of hope? Retrieved from https://www.lionsroar.com/ask-the-teachers-what-is-the-buddhist-view-of-hope/
Standing near a tree, I wonder what it would be like to stand tall, in absolute stillness for hundreds of years. That inner, stalwart strength a representation of meditation at its deepest. Sitting under a tree, I feel that silence & tranquility deep in my heart and soul. A sacred place in nature to visit regularly, to offer prayers for Mother Earth has always been a part of my life. Watching the changes of the seasons, the natural cycles give a rhythm to daily life.
Having a sacred place in nature to visit has been part of the culture of humanity since earlies times. Groves were used in early pagan and Druid for rituals. Visiting lakes, rivers and the sea have always uplifted people. Climbing hills and mountains create a natural elevation of the spirit. Sites that are visited by many begin to gather the spiritual energy of those who offer prayers, whose states of being are lifted by the very nature of the sacred place.
Deep ecology is an environmental movement which was introduced in 1973 by the Norwegian and mountaineer Arne Naess. He believed that we need to honor nature for its inherent value, not only for its usefulness to humanity. It’s an idea that was written about in earlier times by Rachel Carson, John Muir, John Burroughs and many more. Many have held the sacred, intrinsic value of nature in their hearts throughout their lives.
There’s a tree at the top of the hill
That stands alone.
Alone it is looked up to.
Alone it has battled the storms.
Alone it gives shade and a cool restful spot
To the animals seeking shelter from the burning sun.
There’s a tree at the top of the hill,
Living alone.
Standing in stillness and silence,
Reaching its branches to the heavens.
Aatoon Nina Massey
Meditation is one way to deepen inner stillness and silence of an empty mind. Transmission from our teachers can help us drop deeply into a state of inner ease and quietude. If we can be in nature and be fully present, with this deep inner quiet, with whatever is in front, beside or behind us we can enter into the deep listening of the very nature of the forest, the flowers, the sea, etc. An empty mind allows the energetic field to enter our being. We enter a new state of being through the portal into the field of nature.
I lived in Juneau, Alaska for 30 years. I hiked in the surrounding virgin forest, the Tongass National Wildlife Refuge nearly every day. Being outside, no matter the weather is an integral part of daily life up there. This area is one of the last temperate rain forests in North America. The mystical beauty of the light rain was often part of the ramble. Partial glimpses of the mountains and the sea through light clouds added mystery to the days. For years, I would walk the same path. I watched the natural changes of the course of Gold Creek, noticing how its path changed as the weather changed. Ferns and Devil’s cub, a magical healing plant to the indigenous Tlingit people, flourished on the new banks first. Then willow and alder would quickly grow in the early layers of plant succession along its banks. They are very strong and flexible, bending with the wind and storms, and still surviving. The taller hemlock and spruce of the forest often sheltered us from the misty rain.
One summer I had an old friend from high school come to visit because he wanted to fish for salmon. Every day for about 10 days my sister-in-law took us out on a Lund, a skiff that scoots quickly across the sea. We would go where the fish were, sitting and waiting for a bite for hours. Contemplating the beauty of the calm Inside Passage, the mountains, the forest, the eagles, the whales, etc. took me into an incredibly deep place of attunement with the water.
We often had retreats with spiritual teachers at the Shrine of St. Therese. Located right on the water with a retreat center, we could sit each morning of the front porch drinking our tea, watching the calm, quiet sea of the Inside Passage. There would be whales swimming about, eagles and raven flying above, calling out for us to listen to their voices. The air and the breeze were fresh, evidenced by the sphagnum moss hanging in the trees. Together we would enter a field of stillness and purity, brought to us by nature.
There is something about the colors we soak in when we are in nature that is also healing. The ocean can be a light blue, gray, green, etc. depending on the color of the sky it reflects. The sky of course changes as well, blue, white, gray, etc. Green is said to be a healing color, so soaking up the deep emerald green of grass and plants can be invigorating and a remedy for what ails us. And of course, we are often gifted with the vibrant beauty of colorful flowers throughout the spring and summer.
On the Sufi path, forgetting about the Divine is considered a kind of death. When I recently faced my own mortality, while extremely ill in the hospital for 7 days, I found that remembering the Divine was more difficult than I thought it would be. The fog of illness and medications covered my mind, even while awake. It was the simplest of practices that helped me the most. I had recently taken a class on healing with Murshid Aslan. He gave simple practice which I had adopted in my daily morning practices, as I have been dealing with a rare autoimmune disorder. The practice is simply breathing in a relaxing manner, perhaps with the breath of the earth, in and out the nose, with Ya Shafi on the in breath, Ya Kafi on the out breath, 21 times. The 21 times became a way of continuing this prayer longer than I might have in the weakness of my illness. Lengthening and deepening the breath bit by bit helped improve my oxygen levels. Focusing my mind on the Divine Healer bringing a remedy which my body, heart and soul needed, kept me uplifted and hopeful. And finally, the surrender to the will of God allowed a level of relaxation and peace to enter my heart. I prayed that if I could still be of service to the Divine, I would recover. If it was time for a transition, that was all right as well.
Each of us travels a different journey with challenges along the way. It is my hope that within these reflections on my recent experiences, that I can perhaps give some insights which might be of help to others.
I had the incredible blessing of having a near death experience in the early 90’s, in which I was above my body looking down on it, my body in a state of immobility. I felt an incredible state of utter bliss. I did not want to go back into my body in fear of leaving behind this feeling. In fact, I mourned for weeks afterward, and tried to find my purpose and reason for living again. This experience has helped me understand that death is not an ending, but a beginning of a new adventure. I can remember the state of bliss with concentration. It removed my fear of death.
I know that I will mourn the loss of loved ones when my time comes, knowing that this same mandala of incarnations that share my life will never be the same. Once, I met a friend in Alaska who played a bodhran in an Irish band and was a fantastic storyteller. I dreamed of living with him in Ireland that night. I was a sculptor, making a bust of him, as he was in that life in Ireland. He did not look as he did in this lifetime, but I recognized him and his spirit. I know I will meet my loved ones again. But it will be challenging to leave them all behind, just as it is to let them go if they leave first.
Unveiling
Each morning I do my set of practices and meditate, hoping for a taste of Divinity’s inner stillness. Often insights arise out of the feelings that are in my heart when I look deeply into it. I only allow myself to read or think about spiritual teachings before my practices, as much as my daily life concerns and responsibilities allow.
Today, I had to take my medication with food before my practices, as I had a late start to the morning. I began reading the introduction to a new book by Kabir Helminski, In the House of Remembering. A student of his recalls the experience of his first Sufi retreat with Zikr, the ecstasy and heart opening he experienced. As I read, I felt jealous. Why hadn’t I had that intense of an experience at my first retreat?
Later, as I was meditating, the insight came that I have been veiled by experiences of sorrow, anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, etc. in this lifetime and others. That my experience of the fogginess of illness and medication gave me an opportunity to encounter the depth of veiling over my heart. During my illness, I felt like I was trying to dive under the fog to get to the place in me where the Divine resides, to my own true inner being.
I realized that I needed to forgive myself for allowing this covering of my soul to occur. This habitual pattern of protecting myself closed my heart to not only the pain, but also the love, joy and happiness that come with daily living. Glimpses of Divinity kept me searching. Daily practices and meditation help bring about a gradual upliftment. But sometimes we are given opportunities to learn what we need to do during sudden events. My daily practice of the three forgiveness wazifas have taken on a new meaning. New levels of understanding are being uncovered, even after years of daily repetition.
Ya Ghafar asks us to allow in the idea of forgiveness and accept its possibility. Ya Ghafur works deep in the heart where we have stored pain and suffering, asking us to let go of it. With Ya Tawwab we turn away from our perceptions of anger, grudges, etc. to the Divine. Ya Afuw washes away the last remnants, just as the wind blows away footprints in the sand.
Following my Dreams
I had the great fortune to study Jungian dream therapy for years in Alaska with a wonderful spiritual teacher, David LaChapelle. He was trained at Naropa in Boulder. He studied and practiced many paths, including Buddhism and the Lakota teachings of John Fire Lame Dear. For years we met weekly in dream class, each sharing a dream and learning from it. Personal assignments designed to explore inner life were given to each. Mine included many painting and drawing assignments, hiking and exploring the outdoors, weaving, etc.
I learned that watching and paying attention to my dreams helped me understand the state of my subconscious. When I was in the hospital, it was very hard to stay asleep long enough to get to deep sleep or dreaming. Someone is always coming in to take vitals, draw blood, administer medications, change IV bags, etc. But when I did go into a dream state, it was always something simple from daily life, like teaching preschool kids. Lots of love and pleasant states. This seemed like a good indication that for now, I did not have many demons chasing me. Not anger, frustration, anxiety, etc. Since I have come home and been able to sleep for longer periods of time, the same simplicity and pleasant thoughts have followed me. I feel blessed, and know that I have made good choices about what I allow to enter and fill my mind. I have worked hard to feel at ease with my imperfections, mistakes and human frailty.
I learned about this when my older sister was in the hospital in Norway. I took a leave from work and traveled across the sea to be with her and help get her home to Seattle. The medical system in Norway was fabulous. The nurses and doctors met daily and communicated across all departments concerning the care of the whole person. They took paid attention to all her needs. When we were finally able to take her home to Seattle on Air Ambulance Norway, she then entered Swedish Hospital. The American system is very different. Specialists separate care into different parts of the hospital. Communication happens with charts hung on beds, hoping they will be read. My sister entered an infectious disease area of the hospital. She was taken cold-turkey off a medicine for the psychosis that had arisen while she was on morphine for 41 days. The med had not been approved by the FDA yet. No substitute was prescribed. She began hallucinating, having extreme paranoid thought about people and events. Her mind was replaying thoughts of fear and anxiety over and over. I later found out it was partly because she had always had a love of horror. She read horror novels like Steven King and watched all the horror movies she could find. She had filled her mind with thoughts and dreams of the most horrific scenarios. I learned about how important the ‘entertainment’ we fill our minds with can be to our mental health, particularly when medications loosen our control of our thoughts and dreams.
Gratitude
Looking at life with gratitude can keep our minds on the Divine. Ya Shakur Allah for all the beautiful teachers who have entered my life, filled me with love, and taught me so many ways to be of service with love in my heart. Ya Shakur Allah for all the generous and loving family members and friends who have helped me and each other. Ya Shakur Allah for a the beautiful, healing glimpses of nature which I have had the fortune to view in my life. Ya Shakur Allah for the opportunity to live this life!
How can we become more independent emotionally, in order that we can support others whole-heartedly?
Psychologists call the ability to recover from adversity, such as illness, accidents, and other trauma, resilience[1]. Perhaps resilience is also part of the inner strength needed to go about our daily lives in a productive way.
How can we find the strength to rise above adversity, to do our work and to respond to others with love and empathy?
Song to the Willow
Standing alone
Where the land reaches out
To meet the sea,
A little willow tree
Reaches its roots,
Deeper and deeper into the earth.
The wind, rain and snow
Blow hard across the sea.
Its trunk grows tall and strong,
Swaying and bending with the force.
A little willow tree
Reaches its roots
Deeper and deeper into the earth.
Nina Massey
Satisfaction with life can often be simply a way of looking at conditions in a positive way. Those who are resilient know that adversity is temporary and good times will come again. They know that the problem is not part of their identity, but simply a temporary situation needing attention. They know that they have the strength to survive difficulties and challenges because they have the needed supports in place, both internal and external. Consider your ruminations.
Do you become self-absorbed and allow your mind to run the hamster-wheel, replaying resentment and anger over a situation or do you look for the positive and try to problem-solve?
A Spider Web
A thin gossamer web sparkling in the sun,
Connecting branch to tree to limb.
Tiny birds flitting from branch to branch,
As my thoughts flit from topic to subject to idea.
Connections as thin as the web
Spun by the spider connecting it all.
Nina Massey
Perhaps it is as simple as developing patterns of behavior and responses which are positive. As a parent, a teacher, a supervisor, thinking about what others can do that are constructive and finding ways to tactfully suggest and help, rather than responding with anger when mistakes are made, can lead to improving a situation. Corrections can come framed within approximations of the desired behavior, adding the next step toward what is needed for success. Productivity is increased when supervisors react with positive comments and flexibility in ways of accomplishing a task. Problem-solving constructive criticism can be delivered in a gentle, positive tone of voice.[2] Resilience can also be enhanced with this mix of recognition of success and failure with ways of lifting out of problems. Both supervisors and supervisees can learn that mistakes are things to learn from, which can lead to ways to do better in the future. When parents, teachers and the boss approach those under them with an attitude of humility, an attitude that expresses the importance of all in a difficult situation, the response can be more productive.
Another way to build greater belief in oneself is to surround yourself with positive people who are capable, and who believe in you. Do the things you love with people who also love those activities. When adversity strikes, find someone who loves you, who can listen with empathy and yet begin to lead you out of the difficulty with encouragement.
In that moment,
In that passing glance,
A glimpse through the window
Of the local tavern.
A meeting of eyes, of souls,
A recognition of who I truly am.
Nina Massey
Self-efficacy[3] is one’s own estimate of how well one successfully completes a task. This can affect how much effort one puts into a task, how long that effort can be sustained even in the face of difficulty. Allowing in doubts about one’s ability can lead to lack of motivation, poor performance and even quitting. Sometimes these feelings of uncertainty can be increased by humiliating and derogatory comments from others. Perhaps one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and others is to refrain from making these remarks. Misgivings, doubts and fear cause great amounts of stress and anxiety. Fillings our minds with positive affirmations and persevering can help to build self-efficacy though success.
Learning to laugh at oneself can be very healing[4]. Don’t let others laugh at you, learn to laugh with them as your foibles, minor weaknesses and mistakes, are exposed. Get over your self-absorbed thought that you are perfect or should be. None of us are. We are all fools and buffoons at times. And yes, at other times we are wise and skillful. Allow yourself to refuse to become discouraged and quit. Instead find humor, flexibility and persistence.
The Comedy of the Vain
Ah, the vain, glorious beauty of heroes.
Once pride was a valuable commodity
A great weapon of strength and survival.
But pride is the enemy of surrender
The obstacle to softening into allowing
The Divine Bliss to flow freely.
Have no comedy with the vain.
Look not at the peacock strutting,
Nor listen to the squawking pride of the turkey.
Look instead deeply within
Finding the One Lord of Bliss
Softening every hard place to the flow.
Nina Massey
Build a menu of self-care habits[5] from which you can find nourishment in times of adversity.
Prayer to Mother Earth
I breathe in your light,
I breathe out love to you.
Let me walk in rhythm
With your heartbeat, Great Mother.
Nina Massey
Following our Passions
There is a quote from the poet Rumi which says, “Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.”[6] Taking this path, in which our feelings compel us to make choices with our time and activities, can lead to greater happiness, as long as we love positive and healthy things. Trusting your heart, and the inner knowing that comes as guidance can help us find our way.
Make a list of at least 15 things and activities which you really enjoy doing. Cross out any that you think are not healthy or good for you. Consider how the choices you make lead to greater happiness.
Sparkles of gold in a stream of sunlight
Pale reflections of orange, pink and blue,
Upon the surface of the sea.
The light of God shines forth
In the sense of wonder of a child.
Nina Massey
Living from the Heart
Making choices from the heart is a way to follow guidance from the Divine. The heart is the place where we feel the touch of Source, where we can find the bliss and joy of Love. Some say, ‘don’t do it if your heart is not in it.’ One meaning is that if we feel a touch of doubt, skepticism, guilt, fear while making a decision, it may not be the time to make it or the right direction. By meditating in the heart, we can find our way in life on our path, and hopefully not be misled.
This moment
The wind blows.
Swirling about us.
The sun warms
& lightens the land.
The smell of greenery
Permeates the air.
I become aware
Of the gentle kiss
Of the wind upon my skin.
My heart is warmed
By the company of loved ones.
My burdens lightened
By the sunshine of their smiles.
Nina Massey
In the Sufi prayers of Hazrat Inayat Khan, we ask to become a “channel of love, light and life,” in order that we may be able to assist in the healing of others. We fill our entire being with love and feel it moving throughout our body. A concentration on filling the heart with light and then radiating it out like a lantern is an ancient practice of Raja Yoga. When doing yoga exercises, we feel this vitality moving throughout the body, in order that we may be filled with life energy, and therefore have a greater capacity to fulfil our life’s purpose.
Whale Watch
The Eagle soars overhead
Bringing Great Spirit
To watch over the Earth.
The great whale dives deeply
And feeds upon the tiniest
Of God’s creatures in the sea.
A moment of absolute stillness,
Of expectant silence,
Yearning for the power
And momentum of the great whale.
I pray to God
In gratitude for this day.
For the beauty
And wonder of this Earth.
Nina Massey
[1] Masten, Ann S. and Reed, Marie Gabrielle. Resilience in Development. From the Handbook of Positive Psychology, Oxford University Press. Retrieved from http://ldysinger.stjohnsem.edu/@books1/Snyder_Hndbk_Positive_Psych/Snyder_Lopez_Handbook_of_Positive_Psychology.pdf#page=93
[2] Robinson, Joe. Working Smarter: How Optimism Boosts Productivity and Work-Life Balance. Retrieved from https://www.worktolive.info/blog/bid/336460/how-optimism-boosts-productivity-and-work-life-balance
[3] Bandura, Albert. Self-Efficacy Mechanism in Human Agency. 1982: American Psychologist. Retrieved from https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/8bee/c556fe7a650120544a99e9e063eb8fcd987b.pdf
[4] Sherman, Jeremy E. Mastering the Therapeutic At of Laughing at Yourself. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/201405/mastering-the-therapeutic-art-laughing-yourself
[5] Waters, Brad. 10 Traits of Emotionally Resilient People. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/design-your-path/201305/10-traits-emotionally-resilient-people
Neuroscientists now understand that the parts of the brain where physical and emotional trauma are stored are not the same parts governed by our thinking mind. We now know that rhythmic experiences, such as drumming, chanting, dancing, walking, running are best practices in trauma informed care. Daily routines are another way to ground and heal trauma. [1]
Autumn
Fall
Leaves changing colors.
Gold, burnt orange
Orange with reflections of gold, pink brown.
Changing weather
Cold, crisp, clear.
The smell of winter.
The touch of winter.
Darkness coming.
Autumn,
Fall
Fall into winter,
Fall into darkness,
Fall into yourself.
Fall into your life.
Fall into relationships.
Fall inside, into interior.
Falling, falling, falling.
Nina Massey
I met my husband at the Grand Canyon. He was a chef and I was a waitress. We had a love of hiking in nature in common. We hiked nearly all the trails in the canyon throughout the seasons, in the year we met. Throughout the spring, summer and early fall of 1977, we spent about 6 months hiking and backpacking together. We journeyed across the northern United States to the Dakotas and on into Glacier National Park in Canada. Then we traveled into the Canadian Rockies to Banff, Jasper, Mt. Assiniboine, and other areas. Later we hiked in the Cascades, the Olympic Peninsula and Yosemite. Finally, we returned to the Grand Canyon for a visit with friends.
During these months, we would fill our packs with enough food for a planned hike of 5-10 days. Each time we took a different, new trail into the wilderness. The beauty of the mountains, the smell of fresh air, the freedom without deadlines, filled our beings. Then we would come into town, shower, eat a hot breakfast and prepare for another journey. The majority of our time was spent in the quiet of nature. It was here that I truly learned of inner peace and communion with the beauty of the natural world. We lived by the rhythm of the day and night, of the light and dark. I learned to read the color of the light to tell time. We accepted the variations of the weather as a normal part of life. The stillness and quiet of the wilderness permeated our beings.
I learned to arise at dawn and meditate and pray. I learned that alternating stillness and movement made my body and heart feel its strongest. Walking and moving in rhythm with my breath created a feeling of deep ecstasy and contentment in my heart. A state of being arose in which mystical experiences were a natural outcome. I learned that rhythm is one of the secrets of a calm, happy life.
The Crusader Trip
Surrounded by water
The deep greens and blues
Of the ocean depth.
The pale blue aura
Of the frozen ice,
Fallen from glaciers drifting out to sea.
The quiet expectancy
Of new wonders awaiting discovery
Exploration and contemplation.
An inner quiet, a deep peace
From a mind watching, observing
And flowing with nature.
Nina Massey
Rhythm & Memory
Our brain is a mass of neural networks producing electrical waves of energy. Our emotions and feelings affect the working of our brain by changing the chemistry and the rhythm of our brain waves.[2] Indeed, everything we do has an effect on the architecture, chemical and wave state of our brain. By feeling deeply in our own energy field, we can begin to notice and understand our brain wave state at any current moments, and how it affects our engagement with life.
Gamma rhythms (above 40 Hz) help us encode and retrieve memories from our senses. They produce our states of intense focus. They reduce fear and anxiety, perhaps because we are completely present in the moment, not concerned with the past or the future. They move the fastest, but have the lowest amplitudes in their wave. They are sometimes associated with intense “feeling of blessings.”[3] Some benefits listed from gamma brain waves include improved focus, memory, sensory perceptions, happiness, inner peace and compassion.
Beta waves (about 12-30 Hz) help control our working memory, the thoughts that are passing through our minds, as well as what information is stored in our long-term memory.[4] They are used to become aware and concentrate, and when we are making plans and setting goals.
A state of alpha waves (about 8-12 Hz) can calm the nervous system and make us feel more peaceful. They indicate that the mind is awake. Aerobic exercise and daydreaming can cause a restful, idling state of mind,[5] which can be conducive to creativity and new ideas.
Theta waves (about 6-10 Hz) are present during sleep, meditation, mystical experiences and are associated with our inner wisdom. They also work with a type of long-term memory in which we do many things by rote.[6] A common example is that once we learn to ride a bike, we can evermore ride successfully. The memory is stored in our body, in our muscles, as well as in our brain. Creativity is enhanced by this state of being. It is a very relaxed state of being, aware but not anxious.
Delta waves (about 0-4 Hz) are present when we are in a deep sleep. Deep compassion and empathy arise, as well as healing from the anti-aging hormones, DHEA and melatonin.
Meditation, contemplation, and relaxing activities help us to calm our brain waves, and assist them to work in coherent rhythms that are effective for success in our daily lives. They can lead to lower stress depression and anxiety. Healing can also arise from these states of inner peace and serenity. Allow yourself to be drawn by what you love, by what makes your heart sing and be filled with loving qualities. Learning to recognize the different states and what helps them arise is very helpful for inner peace and effectively moving through our days.
What activities are a part of your life which lead you to feel calm and in a state of blessing?
Silent Retreat
Thoughts and ideas tumble together
In the space of allowing.
The space of ease and quietude,
Gently nourished by the soft feminine voices
And the presence of the Goddess.
There’s no need to worry too much.
Nina Massey
Rhythmic Schedules
Everyone has a biological clock which is influenced by day and night, seasons, age, etc. There are 4 main types of biologic rhythms[7] in the human body.
The circadian rhythm is the rhythm of sleep and being awake over a 24-hour period. Most people tend to feel tired and sleepy at certain times of each day. We say that some are ‘night owls’ because they are full of energy late at night, when ‘morning people’ are most productive early in the day. These rhythms work best with regular sleeping times.
Infradian rhythms last longer than 24 hours. An example of this biologic cycle is a woman’s menstrual cycle. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is another infradian rhythm related to seasons. Light seems to have an influence on these cycles.
Rhythms that occur more than once a day are called ultradian rhythms. Sleeps follows cycles of about 90 minutes, moving between slow wave and REM states, which repeat throughout the night. Other examples of ultradian cycles include temperature, pulse rate, blood circulation, and hormonal secretions.
Rhythm which comes from inside the body without outside signals is called an endogenous cycle. Many of the rhythms mentioned above can be controlled within the body and not be affected by external influences. Exogenous rhythms are affected by outside stimulus, such as light.
The main point of the discussion of these biologic rhythms is to emphasize that we are by nature rhythmic beings. Our bodies tend to work best when we understand our natural rhythms and facilitate them through our life style choices. Regular work hours, sleeping time, and meal time help to make our lives less stressful, and help to alleviate mood disorders.[8]
What is your natural biorhythm? How can you adjust your daily activities to facilitate healthy, productive schedules?
There is a place
Between sleeping and waking,
Between the worlds.
There is a sound, a tone.
Listen and you will hear it.
The pulsing wave of energy
Rising and falling into silence.
The stillness comes as a relief.
A release of movement and tension.
The calm inner stillness of total peace.
Nina Massey
Rhythmic Activities
There are many things we can do that are rhythmic, that will improve the state of our brain by increasing the healing neurotransmitters, and increasing the strength of our neural pathways.[9] New novel learning, mental stimulation and physical activity are helpful. Walking in nature, bike riding, working out at the gym are part of a healthy lifestyle. Learning to play an instrument, puzzling out a mystery, playing video games, etc. are novel experiences that can help develop new neural pathways.
Thinking of A.
I just wanted to see you,
To look into your eyes,
To hold your heart in mine.
I just wanted to see you,
To drink tea and love,
To tell you of my dreams.
I just wanted to see you,
To listen to your song,
To sing with you in amour.
I just wanted to see you,
To paint another memory
To hold in my heart.
Nina Massey
[1] Rhythm2Recovery. Why Rhythm? Retrieved from https://rhythm2recovery.com/why-rhythm/
[2] Neo, Dr. Perpetua. 5 Types of Brain Waves and Effects of Meditation on Them. Retrieved from https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/types-brain-waves-effects-meditation/#gref
[3] Diaz, Cheyenne. What Are Gamma Brain Waves? Retrieved from https://blog.mindvalley.com/gamma-brain-waves/
[4] Trafton, Anne. New Study Reveals How Brain Waves Control Working Memory. 2018: MIT News. Retrieved from http://news.mit.edu/2018/new-study-reveals-how-brain-waves-control-working-memory-0126
[5] Bergland, Christopher. Alpha Brain Waves Boost Creativity and Reduce depression. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201504/alpha-brain-waves-boost-creativity-and-reduce-depression
[6] Implicit memory. Retrieved from https://www.brainhq.com/brain-resources/memory/types-of-memory/implicit-memory
[7] States of consciousness. Retrieved from https://www.sparknotes.com/psychology/psych101/consciousness/section2/
[8] Marino, Patrick C. Biological Rhythms as a Basis for Mood Disorders. Retrieved from http://www.personalityresearch.org/papers/marino.html
I was recently at a retreat where my dear friend and teacher Abraham spoke about tuning the heart. He said that sometimes circumstances and events in life cause us to go out of tune, like a musical instrument goes out of tune when the weather and the temperature change. We do spiritual practices to help us get back in tune with our heart and soul. Sometimes we play music and chant, say prayers, repeat the names of God while counting on our prayer beads. We light incense and place fresh, fragrant flowers in a beautiful vase on our altar, with pictures of special beings who uplift our hearts. We can take a walk to a sacred place in nature, breathing in the elements, taking in the natural beauty. When we want to move our energy and change our vibration, we can look to those things that we know uplift our spirits.
Sweat Lodge
Sparks flying straight upward
Amidst tall spruce and hemlock,
Carrying our prayers
To the bright stars.
Snow piled high around us,
Forming a cathedral
Surrounding us
With the purity of white.
Great Spirit
Filling us with gratitude
A circle of prayers
Heartfelt.
A moon shining bright
Surrounded by a halo
A rainbow
Lighting our path home.
Nina Massey
Nearly every spiritual path in the world today has some kind of ritual for the purpose of attunement and healing. All rituals require a deep spiritual harmonization with the path being used. Some rituals are meant to lead us into a deeper communion with our heart and soul, and with the Divine. They can take us from the worries, trial and tribulations of our daily lives and into a deeper state of being.
Sacred music is frequently used to evoke a change in state. One begins to feel inspired and more peaceful while singing hymns, chanting, etc. Music therapy is also gaining popularity. Bathing in the sounds of a gong can move energy, as well as listening to a recording of sacred music. Drumming circles are frequently used to move energy, especially moving and dancing in rhythm to a beat.
In the Christian rituals, one is helped to attune to the being of Jesus, following some of the ways He showed in the bible, such as Mass, Baptism, communion, confession and anointing with oil. Contemplating the being of Jesus Christ and his teachings brings him into the heart brings a deep sense of peace.
Pagan and goddess rituals often take place out in nature, using candles, incense. A circle is cast through calling in the god/desses of each direction and asking for their protection. Perhaps the five elements, earth, water, fire, air and ether are invoked.
Cleansing with water is very common. A hot soak with bath salts is a simple and easy way to clear energy. A shower can also work. A quick dip in the freezing North Pacific will knock a lot of ‘bad’ energy from your field. Native Americans use a sweat lodge ceremony for purification.
Some place all their difficulties and burden into a bowl or a basket and in a ceremonial way empty it.
There are many different rituals and ceremonies held in every community for healing. Setting a clear intention to hold others in the Divine light is one of the most powerful healing methods. Inhaling Divine Light and exhaling Divine Light is another. Just make sure you are believing and participating with your whole heart. Wanting to be healed and being willing to let go and perhaps change something is also an important part of the success of healing ceremonies. Always do this work from deep in the heart.
The Flower of Jesus
As a flower opens it petals to the sun,
I open my heart to the light.
The beauty of the flower still appears
Even though some of its petals are bruised.
My heart feels raw from the strength of the light.
And yet the beauty of the love still glows
And fills my being.
Jesus came to heal us with love,
A flower of beauty growing in the garden,
Continuously nourished by the gardener
He is both the flower and the gardener.
Nina Massey
Concentration Practices
One of the most important ways we can train our minds to invoke clarity and purity is through concentrating on something which we find beautiful, something we love. In today’s world many allow their minds to wander from one distraction to another. One of the most common diversions is allowing your cell phone to ding with notifications from all your apps, and looking at it every time a message comes in. Learning not to look at your device until you are finished with a project increases productivity and creativity. Focusing is a skill we can learn through practice. It is one of the most important skills we can teach our children.
Being able to focus is important for developing deep relationships and learning more than superficial knowledge. Every relationship needs the caring that comes with being present and attentive, giving the fullness of being, knowing that there is something we can learn from each other.
Being able to reflect on the points of view of others with careful, loving consideration opens the door to deeper relationships. Critical thinking requires that one be able to consider and study concepts and ideas beyond simple facts, in order to analyze and discriminate in order to make good judgments. While being engaged in a discussion, one is able to consider arguments and appraise their value.[1] If we can tactfully notice inconsistencies and determine if saying anything back is going to be effective in helping another, we can preserve the love and caring.
All of us can improve our ability to focus. Putting down our devices while engaged in conversation with those we love is a great place to start. Reducing the distractions in the environment is always a helpful strategy. Learning to do one thing at a time and complete it before moving on increases productivity.[2] Beginning with short bursts of focusing, for 3 min., 5 min., 15 min., allows the brain to adjust and restructure itself. Spreading our work and practices over longer periods of time, such as once a day, or morning and nighttime, enable us to improve by getting enough practice to change our brain without tiring or arduous work that causes us to avoid the exercise.
The nautilus saw a pearl
In a drop of the ocean.
Opened his mouth to breathe
And became the pearl.
Every cell of its innermost being
Radiating luminescence.
Nothing exists that is not God.
There is no reality but the One.
La illaha il allah.
Out of the silence
Into the pearly essence.
Breathing out and in
Just being the Reality.
Eternally floating in the sea,
Riding the waves.
Nina Massey
Meditation
According to the scientific studies in the book, How God Changes Your Brain[3], 12 minutes of meditation daily can have significant positive affects on the neurological structure of the physical brain. It may also reduce stress enough to slow down the aging process. There are many meditation methods and practices. The main point is to relax the body and the mind, to quiet the mind enough to feel stillness and contentment. And perhaps, to open our hearts and minds to listen and feel a response from the Divine.
Many people find it easiest to get started by joining a group. There are many Buddhist groups in most towns. Using the Hindu practice of Kirtan, chanting a simple mantra over and over again, as a concentration practice, followed by sitting quietly, watching the breath and feeling the heart can be a good way to start. Sitting in silence out in nature after a walk, watching the breath, listening to the natural sounds, feeling the fresh air is another way to begin.
[2] Fighting for Focus: How to help you child learn to focus in school (and at home). From website Oxford Learning. Retrieved from https://www.oxfordlearning.com/how-to-help-child-focus-in-school/
[3] Newburg, Andrew M.D. and Waldman, Mark Robert. How God Changes Your Brain. 2010: Ballantine Books.
A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. (Joseph Campbell)
Joseph Campbell speaks of the hero’s journey. The heroine leaves on an adventure, encounters challenges and difficulties, overcomes them and then returns home. Perhaps this metaphor can be used for living in the times of COVID. We have left our normal lives, gone on a journey that is both inward, as well as outward. We are encountering many obstacles to a ’normal,’ happy life in separation, in isolation while social distancing. And we all hope that at some point in the future, we will return ‘home’ to a greater physical closeness to our families and friends.
This crisis has provided both dangers and opportunities. We follow protocols, such as wearing masks, frequent hand washing and staying at least 6 feet away from others to protect our health. Many are in danger financially, having been laid off from their jobs. Challenges arise in interpersonal relationships, as those living in the same house spend more and more time close together, sharing space and resources. Differences arise and become bigger somehow in our perceptions.
And yet, the opportunity to have more time to do the things we love has arisen. If we are not working, we can play music, create art, write stories, read more, mediate more etc. The potential for self-improvement and self-fulfillment is enlarged by the opportunity to make choices with what we do with our time. Each of us is responsible for our own adventure during this time.
It takes courage to enter deeply into our inner life. In the quiet, we can hear our inner voice. It can be the guidance from our hearts, or it can be the rerunning around the hamster wheel, deepening and retelling negative stories about our experiences. If we use time to lovingly do spiritual practices, we have the chance to enter serene and peaceful states of being. We can stretch ourselves, asking “the universe to open doors where before there were only walls before us.” (Campbell)
Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging. (Joseph Campbell)
Making a choice to “follow our bliss” as Campbell says, gives us the opportunities to find happiness during this time. If we can look at our fears closely, and find the courage to act and move forward, we can find greater happiness.
“I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience, I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.” (Dalai Lama)
Happiness
What makes you happy? Make a list of at least 10 things that bring joy to your heart.
The University of Pennsylvania offers a survey called the “Authentic Happiness Inventory[1].” The process of completing it can help one consider what makes one happy. Also, simply making a list of what parts of your life make you happy is a valuable pursuit.
How do you find meaning in your life? Do you have purpose and value in your daily activities?
Many people derive a state of well-being from living a meaningful life. When I retired from teaching in Alaska, many of my friends were also at the retirement stage of life. We frequently talked about the value of what we had done with our lives. The question frequently discussed was this.
Do you think you have spent your life in a worthwhile way? How would you like to change it?
According to Psychology Today happiness is “a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life.”1
What makes a ‘good life?
Om Fuente
O source of all love, light and joy
Connect me with my inner being,
Filled with unconditional love.
Connect me to the source
Of all grounding energy, Mother Earth.
Connect me to the fountain
Of light from Father Sky.
Connect me to all creation.
Let me feel the connectedness.
Om fuente.
Nina Massey
Cultivating Feeling with the Heart
Finding ways to connect to one another with the heart can allow us to be happy with those with whom we work. The ability to collaborate begins with being able to feel good about those we are working with. Indeed, helping one another brings a sense of fulfilment. At a retreat which I attended in the fall of 2018, one of the teachers said that we should focus on what we love and enjoy about another, not on their ‘foibles,’ minor weaknesses, flaws, defects, and problems. I remembered this each time I felt annoyed with another. When I switched my thoughts from the challenges and difficulties to the fun and positive qualities, somehow the struggles were lessened. Feeling and interacting from the heart, being empathetic, finding joy with what arises, learning to laugh at oneself, are all ways of lightening the day and the workload. Motivation is increased with feeling inspiration, enthusiasm and encouragement and other qualities which come from the heart.
Chanting the Song of Love
Opening our hearts,
Receptive to beauty
Listening to the sound,
The beauty and rhythm
Of each individual.
The unique vibration of one another
The pattern and rhythm of being
Flowing in the energy of the group.
What is the song of love?
Note by note it enfolds
Wrapping our being
In a cloak
Of the Divine Essence.
The melody is a caress
Of the harmony of the group.
The angels come to sing with us.
Open our hearts, listen
The song of love is all around us,
Waiting to be heard.
Nina Massey
Cultivating Gratitude
One of the most important things we can do for our own well-being is to cultivate gratitude. Learning to see the beauty in each moment, to really accept all the gifts given to us, no matter how small they may seem is one of the most important ways of finding happiness.
Make a list of at least 5 things for which you are grateful each day.
With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. – Dalai Lama
A Story about Our Paths
Early one Sunday morning I arose before dawn to go to my usual meditation satsang. When I went out to my car, I saw that there was a very thick fog covering the ground. I could only see a short distance ahead on the old two-lane country road. Since there were not too many cars on the road at that time of the day on Sunday, I thought I would be all right on the 20 min. drive to my friend’s home. I began to think about the fog as a metaphor. I could recall many times in my life when I moved forward with faith that all would be all right, but I could not see very far down the road. An impatient man in a truck began tailgating me, wanting me to go faster, but I couldn’t because there was a car in front of me. He decided to speed up and pass us. I prayed that no one would be coming from the opposite direction. We couldn’t see far enough to know if it was safe to pass. Then I prayed that I would not come upon his wrecked truck down the road somewhere. It made me think about the risks we take when we get in a hurry to advance on our spiritual paths. The fog thinned out when we moved away from the lakes and rivers, then thickened again. I arrived safely at satsang and felt deep gratitude that nothing else happened. I reflected on the idea that reality can be foggy and sometimes I can’t see myself or others truthfully. And perhaps, I am afraid to look too deeply at my inner self.
Rachel’s eyes sat pale and lit
In the light of the dim morning.
Empty and vacant, ringed with pain.
Conversation and thoughts scattered
Between cigarettes and cups of coffee.
Longings expressed in fantasies of
Mismatched jewels and sparkling gowns of satin.
Nina Massey
Understanding Ourselves and Others
One pastime I enjoy for relaxing is reading novels, mysteries, stories about other people that present characters that have a different perspective on life and make me think about how I think about others. I was recently reading “Sweet Wind, Wild Wind[1].” It is a wonderful story about a woman who returns to the ranch on which she grew up and examines her family life through the lens of a historical project for a university. Here is one of her realizations: “It was as though reality were a book in which each chapter contained a different version of the same story, and everyone who looked at it saw a different chapter, a different slice of history, a different view of life.”
When I lived in Alaska, for seven summers I went on retreats with a spiritual teacher to a place south of Juneau on the Inside Passage, which we called Wolf Track Bay. We arrived by boat or seaplane each summer to camp out for 10 days in the wilderness, where there was no sign of humans. No electricity or devices, no noise of cars, just quiet nature all around us. We each had our own tent and we had a teepee for group meetings. Each year 13 brave souls participated, as that was the number allowed for the wilderness permit. One year a librarian came from our local school district who had never been camping or in the wild before. One day a small group of us went for a walk up the creek into the valley. When we came back to the group meeting in the teepee, our leader asked us how the walk was. You would have thought we were all on a different journey. The poor librarian was scared and uncertain the entire time, worried about bears. I had spent the walk reassuring her, helping her through the mud, and telling stories to distract her from her fear. I had noticed how beautiful the land, the mountains and the sea were, and tried pointing that out as well. A couple with us was arguing about something, and took a short detour to keep their discussion private. Others had other versions to relate. I always remember this series of events because it reminds me that even when we are together, some will notice and remember different things about what is happening. Our thoughts and memories are deeply colored by our different perspectives.
Each person can take a look at their inner self, looking at how they think, take actions and react. Looking at our concept of self, and how it has been influenced by family, friends, schoolmates, co-workers, can help us see ways in which we can make changes to improve our lives. This can be a difficult task. The challenges of the wounded inner heart give counselors and psychologists job security.
But consider this! There is no other person in the world that we can know and understand better than ourselves. Even those close to us, our partners and family have many different experiences from ours. Learning to listen with an open heart is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and to our loved ones. If we can be present, listening with appreciation, empathy and compassion, really hearing what another is saying, understanding and responding appropriately, we will greatly improve our relationships.
My Friend Kabir
Kabir said to me,
Why am I here?
The Lord works his wonders in many ways.
Sing praises to Allah.
Who am I?
The Lord has worked his wonders in many ways.
Sing praises to Allah.
Kabir wanders about the town
Wondering who he is and why he is here.
The answer comes hidden
In the beauty of daily work.
All praise to Allah.
Nina Massey
Ways of Looking at Others
Perception is a way of using the senses to understand the world. Sometimes we perceive things that are real. Sometimes we use media to learn about things which may or may not be real. The way we think about what we see and hear in the world can be influenced by our feelings and emotions. It can also be influenced by our storehouse of previous impressions, called samskaras in Hinduism. Our ‘mindfield’ is full of impressions from our previous actions and experiences. These can be subtle and mysteriously influence the way we respond to others.
Sometimes, as a defense mechanism, we react and project undesirable feelings and emotions on others when we are in a difficult situation. These projected feelings are often from our storehouse of unwanted memories and impressions of similar situations. We can be triggered into feelings that are stored in our bodies, hearts, and minds. We assume that we know what the other person is feeling, based upon our own prior feelings in an analogous situation. Psychologists say that we are in denial that we have these negative feelings inside ourselves and then we attribute them to others. For example, someone who reacts with anger may have a great storehouse of unconscious, denied anger, and always be bothered by others who react with anger.
I lost something that day.
I lay in my bed
On my stomach.
The marks across my back
His footprints.
Marks of where and how
He forced me.
Lying under white sheets
Curled in a ball
Filled with shame.
Waiting.
I lost something that day.
The rhythm of my heart
Out of beat with my soul.
It would take a lifetime to regain it.
Nina Massey
Identity
Forming an identity or sense of self is a natural process which begins in childhood. Our self-concept, our view internally of our strengths and weaknesses, is a key component of our identity. We also can identify with the groups we belong to, our schools, churches, political affiliations, sports teams, hobbies, etc.
Today in the political arena identity has been weaponized. Being called a Democrat or a Republican, a Liberal or a Conservative is being used to divide and conquer. Gender, race, sexual identity etc. are frequently used to divide people into ‘us’ and ‘them.’ Sometimes belonging to a group can be healthy, allowing one to have a sense of belonging to a group of friends who are interested in doing something together or are of like-minded beliefs and viewpoints. Sometimes group identity can be counterproductive and separate us from others, thereby reducing our chances for friendship.
Mandala of Opposites
Winter & Summer
Spring & Autumn
North & South
East & West
Stars & Moon
Clouds & Sun
Solar System & Atomic Structure
Hot & Cold
Order & Chaos
Gold & Carbon
Superior & Inferior
Safety & Danger
Peace & War
Love & Hate
Angel & Devil
Pride & Humility
Harmony & Disharmony
Inner & Outer
Light & Darkness
Heaven & Hell
Nina Massey
Comparison & Superiority
Identity can be used in a dysfunctional way when we compare our selves or the groups to which we belong as better or worse than another. It’s worthwhile to spend some time watching our thinking process and how this dynamic operates in our lives. Our motives and intentions as we relate with others bear watching. If our self-concept is low, we might want to act or talk as if we are superior to others. Insecurity is often at the root of the drive to appear to be better or the best.
Another aspect of identity worth noticing, is the need and desire to label things or groups of people. Labeling is perhaps a way to tell others what they should think and how they should behave, based on the label ascribed to them. Stereotyping, bullying and self-fulfilling prophecies can arise from use of labels. Sometimes a ‘label’ becomes a stigma, and separates us from others.
The Blue Jay
Out of the silence
Into the fray
The blue jay steps
With audacity.
Perched on the edge
Of the great unknown
Squawking with glee
In the midst of melee.
Nina Massey
Labeling Theory
One of the most serious consequences of labeling others is that this label may become a self-fulfilling prophecy or a stereotype. In schools, labeling a child as having a learning disability may affect their self-concept for the rest of their lives. Separation from others can also occur when we dislike Democrats and only want to be part of the Republican Party. This belief can influence outlook and behavior in ways that are counterproductive. We may react in a negative way if we know that someone is a ‘liberal’ or has ‘right-wing’ beliefs. Any label applied to others which causes us to feel aversion can lessen our opportunities to make friends and show love.
Consider the labels which you apply to yourself and to others. Do they allow you the ‘dream’ the life you want into being?[2]
Dreaming of Bear
I have been running from bear,
Afraid of my innermost thoughts,
Afraid of the silence and the void.
I have been running from bear,
Protecting the new young places in me,
Running in fear from the knowing.
I have turned and faced bear,
And fed him the sweetness of truth,
The honey of friendship bringing us together.
I have been running from bear,
Closing the door to inner wisdom.
In confusion, shutting out the teacher.
Why was I running from bear?
He reminds me of my inner strength
And brings me gifts of self-knowledge.
Nina Massey
Identity Politics
Skin can be our protection or our enemy. Many challenges arise from the color of our skin, be we brown, white, black or yellow. Also, the thickness and thinness of our skin can sometimes be an issue in our relationships.
According to Louise Hay, skin problems can arise from anxiety, from worries and from old impressions or samscaras.[3] Someone who is thin-skinned is extremely sensitive to offhand comments, criticism, put downs. They are soft and tender like a baby or a young child, not yet guarded against the pain and turmoil of life. If we are thick-skinned, we are said to be tough, impervious, insensitive.
When we are self-conscious, when we think about ourselves and how we believe others think about us, we can become reactive, worried, concerned, anxious. Perhaps we need to step back and take the point of view of the person we are concerned about. What is happening in their life? Did they get enough rest the night before? Are they worried about their loved ones? Have they been experiencing failure in some part of their life? All of us react out of our own reality. Yes, there can be stimulus outside ourselves that causes us to react. Perhaps we rerun a situation around and around the hamster wheel in our minds, wishing we acted different or that someone we care about didn’t say something to us. Negative self-talk can be debilitating and self-defeating.
One of the stances in A Mindset for Learning[4] is resilience. Resilience is our ability after failure to get back up and try again. If we realize that mistakes and failure are a normal part of the process of learning, we can say, ‘OK, that didn’t work or go well.’ Reboot, rethink and consider another path or solution. And try and try again.
There is a time for inner reflection and a time for focus on the work we are doing. My dear friend and teacher Nuria Sabato recommended “renunciation of thoughts of the self.” My teacher Shabda Khan always told us that it is thinking about ourselves, and thinking about what we think others may be thinking about us that distracts us from thoughts of the Divine. When we can set aside our problems and issues and focus on the prayers and spiritual practices, we can enter a state of being in which the Divine speaks to us. We can listen and hear guidance. Let us all find a way to hear ‘The Spirit of Guidance.’[5]
[1] Lowell, Elizabeth. Sweet Wind, Wild Wind, p. 89. 1987: Severn House Publishers Ltd.
To me, walking on a spiritual path with someone means you are a friend of my heart and soul, and I will stand with you, beside you, whatever your actions or choices. This ‘loyalty’ has always meant to me something like the relationship of Shams and Rumi. Once we enter into deep states together, led by one another, we are deep friends of the heart, walking a spiritual path side by side. We will always be deeply connected on the inner plane, you, and I, and all those we have sat with and prayed beside.
Finding a spiritual teacher can be simple. Look for someone who uplifts your heart. Today, many people have several beings in their lives who can inspire them. Each of us can find our way to one who has gone before us and can lead the way, perhaps only for today, perhaps for a longer time.
One way to improve our being and our habits of thinking and reacting is through inner introspection. Awake early enough each day to have time to commune with your spirit, with your heart and soul. Find a comfortable, quiet, and safe place to sit quietly. Pray to the One daily. Do practices as guided by your spiritual guide.
Throughout the day, take time to think about God and your teacher. Read the writings of the spiritual teachers who attract you. Don’t rush the reading. Give yourself time to contemplate the teachings as you go about your daily activities. Perhaps a paragraph, a half-page or a page a day fills your heart, mind and connects you to your soul.
Attend gatherings with those on your path. Love them and their company. Learn from your companions. See the mirrors that arise to show you the way.
My Beloved Teacher
A glimpse of my teacher through the trees,
I run down the path
With great gladness in my heart,
Knowing the welcoming embrace that awaits.
If only I could remember this
And run into the embrace of the Beloved,
Each moment with joy and gladness,
Welcoming the embrace of the One.
Nina Massey
Thinking About Loving, Living and Learning
In the writings of the great Sufi masters, the analogy of a garden is used to help one understand spiritual progress. The garden of the heart can be cultivated. Experiences of spiritual upliftment, wondering at the beauty of nature, feeling the love of a kind mother or father, or a loving friend, being inspired by the exalting influence of a teacher all cultivate an understanding of the Divine energy. They assist in the flowering of unconditional love, flowing like a fountain from the heart of one into that of others. These experiences bring joy to the hearts of both the giver and the recipient.
Many indigenous people believe that we dream our life into being. Our thoughts and points of view direct us to choices that create our lives. Because many of our choices are driven by unconscious projections from our store of woundedness, we move about as if in a dream, not seeing reality as it truly is.
In Hinduism, the concept of ‘Maya’ points to the appearances of the phenomenal world as an illusion. Perhaps this is because we all see everything in our daily lives differently. We see through the colored lens of our minds and unconscious thoughts and feelings.
Consider your thought patterns. What are the things in the outer world which bother or irritate you? How are they related to your own past experiences?
What are the things in your life which bring you to a loving state of being? How do you find joy, delight, and happiness in your daily life?
Paint Pots & Spontaneity
The road that has been the most well-traveled
Has deep, deep ruts
That are difficult to maneuver.
Indeed, that are as hard to stay in
As they are to get out of.
Nina Massey
Hopefully, you will find many thoughts, ideas, and techniques that might help you improve the quality of your life. The energetic state of being in which we exist can change the quality of our lives and the lives of those around us and even the state of the world.
Having worked with hundreds of children from preschool age and up, as well as adults, teaching and coaching for over 40 years, I have watched and learned much about our brains and our minds, relationships, and group dynamics. I hope that there will be seeds of ideas and methods in these writings, that will help you to find ways of changing your actions and thereby your state of being, so that you are happier, and therefore those around you will be influenced by your state of joy and bliss.
I awaken singing
With heart and soul.
Show glare tenderly.
I’ll miss you.
Show love tenderly.
Come close to me.
Come play with me.
An angel of the light, the fire,
Reflects the firelight.
The snow reflects the snow,
The night and the stars reflect the night.
The moon reflects the sun.
A puddle reflects the light of the sun.
In the mirror of the heart,
What will we reflect?
Nina Massey
You might want to keep a reflection journal. Try answering some of the questions. Consider just reading a post or less each day, allowing your mind to reflect, absorb, and integrate ideas. Try some things during your workday, when you are with those you love when you are making choices about what to do.
