Category: Thinking about Learning & Teaching

The most important thing a teacher or parent can do is to be calm and relaxed themselves. Students who have been traumatized are very sensitive to the moods and energy of the adults around them.  A deep inner peace, love and acceptance of a child will do wonders for their own state of being.  

When entering the classroom from the chaos and competition of the playground, after an altercation with another child or an adult, it takes kids time to calm down. “When kids are overwhelmed by feelings, adds Dr. Lindsey Giller, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, the emotional side of the brain isn’t communicating with the rational side, which normally regulates emotions and plans the best way to deal with a situation. Experts call it being “dysregulated.” It’s not effective to try to reason with a child who’s dysregulated.”^[1] After recess, play soothing music and have independent work kids can be successful doing by themselves for 10-15 minutes. If they know the routine, they can go straight to their desks and engage.  This also allows time and space for a teacher to manage altercations brought inside.  

Helping kids be able to know, own and name their feelings can be a step in helping them remain calm. Listening to children and validating their feelings can help allow them to accept a feeling and let it pass. Giving students coping options or choices, such as a time out, or stating calmly what is wrong can also help. Waiting until the brain chemistry has a chance to change is important in talking over problem solving and future choices and actions a child might take

Ignoring inappropriate attention seeking behaviors, such as whining and outbursts can reduce these actions. If we can focus on attempts to approximate a desired behavior, and give positive feedback for these actions, it can begin to move a child in a more positive direction.  It can also help adults in charge refrain from engaging in negative feedback loops. Criticism and angry reactions usually serve to accelerate unwanted behaviors in kids. All kids want to beloved and feel that someone cares about them, and desires that they be well-behaved, and believes they are good in their nature.  Give positive attention when the child begins to ‘approximate’ the desired behavior.  Recognizing small steps in the direction you want the conduct to go assists in making change, step-by-step.   

Transitions are best improved with clearly-stated expectations and consistent rules and procedures. Remind kids what you want them to do.  Understand that they might bethinking about something else, day-dreaming, etc. and not mean to misbehave if they forget procedure.  Also, some kids need many repetitions before desired behavior becomes automatic. Simple directions given frequently in a kind voice will work wonders toward greater order. 

Give directions in simple steps.  At the beginning of every written work, “Write your name on the top,” might seem unnecessarily repetitive, but will help you as a teacher.  Same thing with walking down the hall.  “Stay in a single line on the right,” cannot be said enough.  If multiple step directions are needed, repeat them a second time, one or two at the appropriate time.  Some kids have trouble remembering multiple directs, especially in order. 

The most important thing we can do to help children stay calm in any situation is to model a deep inner calm and reassure them in whatever way they need. As adult caregivers of children, we need to take care of ourselves in whatever way we need, so that we have an inner well and reserve of tranquility, happiness and peace. 

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^[1] Miller, Caroline. How to Help Children Calm Down.  Retrieved (2021) from https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-children-calm-down/

Leadership

During this pandemic, many of us have taken on new roles, as well as new ways of doing our roles. Ways of leading, guiding and teaching one another have changed.  The role of parents, and teachers have become immensely complicated by social distancing and quarantines. The supervision of adults working from home has been a challenge, as bosses find new ways of monitoring workers. Reaching out for support from others in a similar position becomes more and more important. Remember, we are all trying to do the best we can, because we care!

Thinking about Teaching

Do you remember your favorite teachers in school? Perhaps you loved them because they infused you with inspiration, curiosity, wonder?  Perhaps they modeled loving relationships and respect for all. Maybe they were calm, and created an atmosphere, an oasis of peacefulness within the chaos of the school day. Maybe they had a great sense of humor, laughing at themselves, their mistakes, their own humanity, and with you about life. What qualities made you love a special teacher?

On the Sufi path, we say a prayer called Pir.  The Pir is the Sufi teacher or guide.  Lessons are given individually and in groups, often in sacred conversations called ‘sohbet.’  I contemplate this prayer daily, as a meditation with devotion for my teachers, but also as a way of understanding that if I can recognize these qualities in a teacher, they also exist inside me.  I want to bring them forward in a conscious way, in order to honor and inspire my students. 

Pir

Inspirer of my mind, consoler of my heart, healer of my spirit,
Thy presence lifteth me from earth to heaven
Thy words flow as the sacred river
Thy thought riseth as a divine spring
Thy tender feelings waken sympathy in my heart.

Beloved Teacher, thy very being is forgiveness.
The clouds of doubt and fear are scattered by thy piercing glance.
All ignorance vanishes in thy illuminating presence;
A new hope is born in my heart by breathing thy peaceful atmosphere.

O inspiring Guide through life’s puzzling ways,

 in Thee I feel abundance of blessing.

Affective Domain 

The affective domain deals with our feelings, emotions and attitudes. It is where we find our motivation, what moves us to act. The prayer above is a daily motivation for me to be the best teacher I can be. In what other ways can we be the creative force that helps others want to do or create what is theirs to do? 

Motivation and inspiration are important to the roles of parents and employers.  Surveys of employers indicate that they care more about communication skills and teamwork than about cognitive skills.^[1]  Other important qualities include integrity, respect and good customer relationships. Work ethic is of great importance as well. How to help instill these qualities in our coworkers and our children?  How do we create a classroom and work place atmosphere that encourages and values these qualities?  Perhaps we could look closely at the examples we set as role models. 

Developing positive relationships with students and coworkers is one of the most important qualities of a good teacher. Truly seeing students in the depth of their being and their hearts, and recognizing with honor who they are is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our students. If students like and respect their teacher, they are motivated to listen and learn.  If a teacher takes the time to listen to her students, and carefully learn about their individual strengths and weaknesses in learning and completing projects, she can produce the intended impression that will assist in the needed result.  A teacher must find effective ways to help students develop a pattern of behavior conducive to learning. A teacher can model effective and polite ways of communicating, thereby motivating her students to communicate in ways that other students respond to with reciprocal thoughtful and pleasant ways.  

Trust is built when a student feels their teacher enjoys being with them and likes them as a person. When disciplinary procedures humiliate and break trust, there is a breakdown in engagement and motivation. When a teacher is caring and kind, taking time to listen to students, being patient, greater achievement can occur.^[2] Natural consequences have a way of changing behavior, if the adult responds with empathy and understanding. This helps avoid defensive kickbacks and emotional outbursts. However, if the action of a child causes danger to self or others, a different method should be used. 

Teaching is one of the most complicated jobs in the world.  Each situation and subject ask for a different approach.  A teacher is asked to help with a child’s attitude and moral development, their ability to think and develop skills of all sorts, and their knowledge and understanding of content.  Organizing and orchestrating the myriad needs, materials, schedules, etc. requires an incredible amount of focus, and presence. 

Enthusiasm and love of teaching can assist a teacher in having the fortitude and stamina to continue this work year after year, while dealing with an enormous workload and how the current problems and issues in society affect the conditions in the school and classroom. Loving the subject matter and the students brings a commitment as well as exciting and engaging lessons in the day-to-day practice. 

Also, of great importance for any leader is the inner work, looking inside at motivation, desire, how power operates within and without.  This deep work can be accomplished with the assistance of friendships and community support.  Sometimes we are blessed with coworkers who are willing to discuss and help us learn from self-reflection.  Sometimes we find renewal in spiritual retreat and community. All of us need support and refreshment, rest and respite.  We must seek it out to be able to perform at our best.  

Engagements of the Mind

It’s a trap.

These engagements of the mind.

The power struggles

Over who will do what.

Trapped in the mind,

Unable to act from the heart.

Unable to see what the children need

To develop their souls’ potential.

Nina Massey

Expectations

Never give up on a student. A great teacher believes in all of her students and their ability to succeed. She sets high expectations. Setting and communicating clear objectives allows students to set goals.  Immediate feedback with careful recognition of closely approximated success, as well as clear directions for the next step in meeting goals helps motivate students to try again. Recognizing the innate potential in each student honors their ability to accomplish the next step. 

Prepared & organized 

Being prepared and organized is a must.  Setting up organizational systems to facilitate ease of finding materials helps a teacher to remain calm, and to keep students engaged in learning more minutes of the day. Also, a clean organized environment is a more pleasant place to spend time. Once I heard that the condition of a desk is reflective of the condition of its owner’s mind.  Perhaps this is so sometimes.  Definitely it is worth reflecting on the value of keeping the classroom environment less cluttered and pleasing. Students need a space for learning that is theirs to manage.  They can learn to keep it clean and organized in a way that is conducive to learning and the work they need to do.  A sense of ownership and control of the space will motive a student to perform at their best. 

Learning & Teaching

We live in a time when what makes a good teacher is much debated.  Some believe that high test scores are the best measure.  Others look at value added measures, in which effective teachers raise the scores of lower students more than expected. But what about the importance of the affective domain? 

In a 2015 Pew research survey^[3], Americans responded that the most important skill kids need to gain in school are good communication skills. Team work came in 4^th after reading and math skills.  A good teacher models communication skills with every interaction in the classroom.  Being kind and polite, while using a friendly tone of voice sets a standard of expectations for interactions, and shows kids how to be that way.  

Community building is another important part of creating an atmosphere in the classroom.  Cooperative learning and teambuilding techniques can help students learn to collaborate together.^[4] There is research showing how cooperative learning techniques improve social skills, relationships and academic achievement.  Students learn to enjoy working together and becoming part of a team. 

Someone once said that the best teachers are the best students.  I have been teaching now for 41 years at many different levels in many different capacities.  I have never lost my thirst for learning, trying new ways, considering the ideas of others, etc.  I think that this innate curiosity has kept teaching alive for me. I can’t imagine ever stopping learning.  There is always something new to consider and learn about!

You have been a voice

Of the spirit

Trying to come through these souls.

You have been a voice

Asking for creativity and flexibility.

Asking for these souls

To be listened to and to be heard.

Asking for change as the souls change

And the times change.

Desiring more

Than can be given in these times.

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^[1] Bortz, Daniel.  5 traits employers really want younger workers to have. Retrieved from https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/must-have-traits-young-workers-1116

^[2] Peterson-Deluca, Ashley. Top Five Qualities of Effective teachers, According to Students. 2016: Pearson.  Retrieved from https://www.pearsoned.com/top-five-qualities-effective-teachers/

^[3] Goo, Sara Kehaulani.  2015.  The skills Americans say kids need to succeed in life.  Retrieved from http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/02/19/skills-for-success/

^[4] Kagan, Dr. Spencer & Miguel.  Kagan Cooperative Learning.  Retrieved from https://www.kaganonline.com/free_articles/research_and_rationale/

The issues of racism are multilayered, and deeply a part of our culture. I too grew up not thinking a lot about racism until high school.  I went to a Catholic School in an Irish neighborhood. The Irish in Ohio were looked down upon at that time.  I became aware of racism through one main event.  In high school. I was in the national honor society and we had a group that did things together, sponsored by the school, the top ten kids in our class. Typical of teenagers, one time I went to a party and had too much to drink.  I asked a friend to give me a ride home.  I thought I would be in trouble for drinking, as I had not previously indulged (and never wanted to again).  But when my Dad came to the door to let me in, to my dismay, he freaked out because my friend who kindly gave me a ride, a friend from out top ten group, was black. 

What I have learned over these 41 years of teaching is that I have an obligation to learn about the lives and experiences of my students.  In Alaska, the Native people stood up for themselves and their culture.  They brought into the schools an excellent Native Studies program, which taught us about their culture.  We learned about rituals and ceremonies, the history of the terrible treatment of the Natives by white people.  Because they were told in the 30s and 40s that they could no longer speak their language and must speak white, the children whom I served qualified in the bilingual program as Limited Engish Proficiency (LEP).  Limited vocabulary had passed down through three generations. We also learned about cultural styles of communication, such as the practice of not looking into the eyes of someone who is upset, because one could take on a deeper impression and karma. 

Now I am trying to learn as much as I can about the history of African Americans, and listening to their stories.  My school had previously chosen the book All American Boys for a summer book talk group for staff.  This discussion has been interesting and enlightening, especially hearing the white privilege arise, and trying to tactfully open my own eyes and the eyes of others. What I am noticing for myself in these discussions is that sometimes I am not seeing from the point of view of others, out of not having had a similar experience, or not looking at it in the same way.  I am also reading White Fragility, in hopes of understanding more.  Last summer I took a graduate course at Ohio State called Issues in Urban Education.  I read a book about the history of redlining in Columbus, OH where I teach.  It was eye opening.  Because the instructor and more than half the participants were Black, I got a real taste of the pain this has caused. I want to learn and understand the experience of black people in America more deeply. 

I agree with you that it is one child at a time.  As a reading specialist, I often advocate for minority students to their classroom teachers and the administration. It’s a challenging position to stand between kids and teachers.  Sometimes, I can only stand up for their hearts when they are with me, letting them know I love them and their specific, beautiful qualities. During the lockdown, I tried to build close relationships with parents and show empathy for what they were going through.  I tried to be flexible with ways of giving instruction, as probable 70% of our kids did not have access to wifi. and appreciate whatever guardians could do for their child’s education.  And when they began to call me to ask for help and advice, I knew I was succeeding with that family. 

I think empathy is one of the greatest qualities we can develop when working with helping others.  

I love children. They are so fresh in their perspective, so insightful in their comments, so naturally loving. When children have the opportunity to be around those who respect, honor, and listen to them, they learn to do the same. When through difficult conversations, boundaries are set and the challenges and darkness of the world are explained in a kind and hopeful way, children learn resilience. They learn that life is sometimes good and sometimes bad and that they can find their way through all the mazes and puzzles of living. We can, through example and role-modeling, help them to achieve their highest potential.

Setting a Clear Intention

It is my hope and wishes that through considering the ideas here, you can move toward your life’s purpose with love, harmony, and beauty. Let us all find ways that assist us in filling our lives with greater love, both in giving and in receiving, especially when we are with youth.

You are what you think

When I was in my early 30s I realized that I would sometimes fall into a dark mood that might last for a few days. I had no idea what caused it. Usually, there did not seem to be a precipitating event. I woke up one day and realized that this was happening and I wanted to be different. I realized that I could evolve, change my habits, grow into the fullness of my being. I wanted to find clarity in each moment and know my purpose each moment. I wanted to find a way to stay positive and upbeat for the kids in my classes. I began to look for activities and groups which lifted me and helped me evolve. My exploration of my inner life has continued to this day.

Now I awaken each morning, excited to arise and meditate and do yoga. I prepare for my day by absorbing the energy of the love field and moving in it throughout my day. I do practices of gratitude, forgiveness, love, and guidance. Often, I go through my day happy with the laughter of an easy relaxed sense of humor. Sometimes I weep with sadness for my family, my friends, my students. And yet I thank the Divine for having led me to find ways to change my life, that I might be of greater service to humanity. 

Once I worked with a woman who was new to our school. The entire 6 months she was there, she complained about how our school was different from the schools she worked in before. I felt sorry for her because she was so unhappy and discontent all the time. 

I wondered if she knew she was making herself unhappy by always thinking of the differences she did not like, instead of noticing what a calm, peaceful place she was now working in.

Rene Descartes, an early philosopher said famously, “Cogito, ergo sum” or “I think, therefore I am.” This saying can be interpreted in many ways. Perhaps most important to the health of our inner life, it is asking us to notice how our thoughts affect our emotions and our happiness. 

Where is that loving place in my heart?

That place of ecstasy

That fills with bliss?

Where is that loving place in my heart?

I call to it and it is covered

Buried by an energy I do not understand.

Does this veil come from within,

To be mirrored without?

Where is that loving place in my heart?

Nina Massey

Mindsets

Our mindset is our way of seeing the world. It is composed of the thoughts, ideas, and concepts that we allow to run around frequently in our thoughts. It is our point of view, how we think about what we experience with our senses. We can change and adjust it.

What patterns of viewing the world do you notice in your thought processes?

In Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence, he speaks of “habits of emotional management.[1]” These are the activities and ways in which we ‘soothe’ ourselves when we are upset. It may include functional things such as exercise, walking in nature, talking with a trusted and empathetic friend, prayers, meditation, etc. A less productive way might be eating a big ice cream cone -soothing, but perhaps not the best choice.

In this book, there will be many ideas and suggestions for soothing oneself as an adult, and for soothing others as a parent, teacher, boss, etc. Not all ideas will be for everyone. 

But having a large toolbox can help one in responding helpfully when others are in need.

Looking forward: Becoming a hero-heroine

What makes someone a human being you would like to emulate? Who do you admire most?

What does it mean to have a noble and courageous character? Each of us is capable of fulfilling our deepest inner ability to raise the vibration of the world. By finding ways to live and love, to learn new ways of thinking and being in this world with a positive attitude, we can affect a change in those around us. With qualities such as humility, patience, and caring for others, we can help, perhaps one person at a time to find hope and joy in life. 

At the Parliament of World Religions in 2018, Onaubinisay (Walks Above the Ground) or Dr. Jim Dupont gave a talk which can be watched on the web at https://youtu.be/AB-Fi31klTs

He is an elder of the Ojibway-Anishinabe of the Marten Clan and originally from the Shawanaga First Nation on Eastern Georgian Bay. 

He spoke of how we must live our lives in the best way we can. We can “live our lives in this world in a way that touches the Spirit directly…Everything that we do is spiritual…Live your life in the most direct way. Express yourself in the beauty of life.” By fulfilling our soul’s purpose through the guidance of the Spirit we can bring love, happiness, and beauty into the world.

I offer this day, this walk,

To bless the Earth

Upon which I tread.

I offer these rocks

Atop one another

As a sign to all

Who may pass this way,

That they may be blessed.

May the breath of God

Wave the fronds of ferns

And palms of the devil’s club

In a greeting of welcome

To all who pass this way.

Nina Massey

The Future of the World 

What would you like the world to be like in 20 years? In 50 years? In 100 years?

How do you think you can help this vision become your ideal?

Consider this: Our children will be running the world. 

What kind of consciousness do they need to have to create and maintain a better world? How do they become the kind of leaders we want to see running our world and caring for our earth?

Very young children learn by imitating what the adults in their lives do, how they live, their habits, how they talk. We are their role models in every moment of our lives. 

How is what you are doing affecting others with whom you spend time? What habits and tendencies do you have that you want your children to see? And which ones do you want to hide and not show your children?

This is what I have learned.

To look not ahead nor behind,

But to look only in the moment with love

Upon the being which my eyes

And heart behold.

To look with truth,

With my own eyes

With my heart & soul

Guiding & teaching me.

Nina Massey

Being on a Spiritual Path: Simplicity 

One way to improve our being and our habits of thinking and reacting is through inner introspection. Awake early enough each day to have time to commune with your spirit, with your heart and soul. Find a comfortable, quiet, and safe place to sit quietly. Pray to the One daily. Do practices as guided by your spiritual guide.

Throughout the day, take time to think about God and your teacher. Read the writings of the spiritual teachers who attract you. Don’t rush the reading. Give yourself time to contemplate the teachings as you go about your daily activities. Perhaps a paragraph, a half-page or a page a day fills your heart, mind and connects you to your soul.

Attend gatherings with those on your path. Love them and their company. Learn from your companions. See the mirrors that arise to show you the way.

My Beloved Teacher

A glimpse of my teacher through the trees,

I run down the path

With great gladness in my heart,

Knowing the welcoming embrace that awaits.

If only I could remember this

And run into the embrace of the Beloved,

Each moment with joy and gladness,

Welcoming the embrace of the One.

Nina Massey

Thinking About Loving, Living and Learning 

In the writings of the great Sufi masters, the analogy of a garden is used to help one understand spiritual progress. The garden of the heart can be cultivated. Experiences of spiritual upliftment, wondering at the beauty of nature, feeling the love of a kind mother or father, or a loving friend, being inspired by the exalting influence of a teacher all cultivate an understanding of the Divine energy. They assist in the flowering of unconditional love, flowing like a fountain from the heart of one into that of others. These experiences bring joy to the hearts of both the giver and the recipient. 

Many indigenous people believe that we dream our life into being. Our thoughts and points of view direct us to choices that create our lives. Because many of our choices are driven by unconscious projections from our store of woundedness, we move about as if in a dream, not seeing reality as it truly is. 

In Hinduism, the concept of ‘Maya’ points to the appearances of the phenomenal world as an illusion. Perhaps this is because we all see everything in our daily lives differently. We see through the colored lens of our minds and unconscious thoughts and feelings. 

Consider your thought patterns. What are the things in the outer world which bother or irritate you? How are they related to your own past experiences?

What are the things in your life which bring you to a loving state of being? How do you find joy, delight, and happiness in your daily life? 

Paint Pots & Spontaneity

The road that has been the most well-traveled

Has deep, deep ruts

That are difficult to maneuver.

Indeed, that are as hard to stay in

As they are to get out of.

Nina Massey

In this book, you will find many thoughts, ideas, and techniques that might help you improve the quality of your life. The energetic state of being in which we exist can change the quality of our lives and the lives of those around us and even the state of the world.

Having worked with hundreds of children from preschool age and up, as well as adults, teaching and coaching for over 40 years, I have watched and learned much about our brains and our minds, relationships, and group dynamics. I hope that there will be seeds of ideas and methods in this book, that will help you to find ways of changing your actions and thereby your state of being, so that you are happier, and therefore those around you will be influenced by your state of joy and bliss.

I awaken singing

With heart and soul.

Show glare tenderly.

I’ll miss you.

Show love tenderly.

Come close to me.

Come play with me.

An angel of the light, the fire,

Reflects the firelight.

The snow reflects the snow,

The night and the stars reflect the night.

The moon reflects the sun.

A puddle reflects the light of the sun.

In the mirror of the heart,

What will we reflect?

Nina Massey

You might want to keep a reflection journal. Try answering some of the questions. Consider just reading a chapter or less each day, allowing your mind to reflect, absorb, and integrate ideas. Try some things during your workday, when you are with those you love when you are making choices about what to do.

Introduction

The Gates Foundation spent 575 million dollars studying teachers to determine what makes a good teacher. In the end, it came down to the individual being of the teacher in the classroom. 

Not the programs, not the school, not the testing, not the rigorous evaluations, but how the teacher interacts with the kids minute by minute. So, how do we find and allow the best teachers to teach?

What makes a great parent? 

There are probably as many opinions as there are parents in the world. But if surveyed, parents might have many common values, such as love, patience, kindness, interest, enthusiasm, etc., particularly among those in similar cultures.

Perhaps it simply comes down to the being who is in the room with others, be they children or adults. A human being filled with love for others, with excitement and enthusiasm for life, and curiosity for learning can inspire and motivate those around them. Whatever the role or relationship, if one is fully present and attentive, listening, hearing, and considering what is said with the heart, one can inspire and quicken the life force of another, and have an elevating influence. 

Come, walk beside me

Along the river’s path.

The scent of the earth

Rising beneath our footsteps.

Come, walk beside me,

And hold my hand along the way.

And I will hold you tenderly

And soothe your broken heart.

Come, walk beside me,

Along the way of life.

To live and laugh and love

Even in the way of strife.

Nina Massey

A Path

Every human being on earth deserves to live a happy and healthy life. The human spirit can be nourished by our thoughts. Our consciousness is one part of us that brings us to life. When we take our last breath, our mind will then take a respite and stop thinking for a while. In the meantime, we are frequently plagued by unpleasant thoughts going around and around in our brains, causing stress and emotional upset. In this book you will read about ideas and techniques, practices, that can be used to help cultivate develop a calm and peaceful mind. Many different ideas will be considered. 

An open mind and heart will hopefully be able to find some ways to bring life into a more desirable condition.

Like many others, my path has sometimes followed a difficult and arduous road, finding my way to living in a state of peace and happiness. Like many of us, growing up in a lower-middle class family in the 50s and 60s was fraught with challenges. Being politically correct was not yet on the radar. Feminism was just beginning to take hold. The rules and strictures of society determined how many of us were taught to behave. Thinking about consciousness did not become popular until the late 60’s when the Beatles came back from India. The influence of the Maharaj-ji’s on figures such as Krishna Das, Ram Dass, Steve Jobs, Daniel Goleman, Julia Roberts, and Mark Zuckerberg did not become well known until the 21st century. 

Now mainstream media portrays the techniques used by many of the Dharmic (Buddhism, Hinduism, etc.). Dharmic practices can place one in harmony with the cosmos. In many of these spiritual paths, watching the breath is a way to focus the consciousness, to connect our body and mind through our spirit. Dictionary.com defines spirit as “an attitude or principle that inspires, animates, or pervades thought, feeling or action.”

The emptiness.

Going inside and listening

To the void,

Empty of all thought.

Filled by the Divine,

With that understanding

Which is coming into being

Created and formed by hands

Manifested for all to see.

Nina Massey

How can we learn to direct our minds to ‘inspire and animate’ our lives in such a way that we are happy and successful? 

While I was researching different things for this book, I kept running across the word ‘hedonic.’ This word refers to those things in our lives from which we find pleasure. 

What are the things which bring pleasure to you? Do they bring momentary pleasure, such as eating an ice cream cone, or is it a deep, long-lasting pleasure, such as that which comes from spending positive time with those we love?

We can choose to live the way we do by how we use our minds. There are thousands of self-help books and gurus out there who are willing to give us clues as to how to examine and use our thoughts to help us. Some say that life is just a series of moments, one following the other in a series until there are no more thoughts or moments. If we can teach and help others learn one thing, I think it is this. 

A collection of moments

That’s what life is.

We make meaning of our experiences

When we are present in the moment.

Nina Massey

What do we choose to allow our minds to be filled with each moment of our lives?

There is an ‘unhappiness epidemic’1 in the United States right now. I noticed it acutely after the 2016 Presidential election. Many of my friends were very depressed and feeling hopeless. Others were feeling defensive, defiant, and fearful, wanting to hold onto the status quo. Throughout the year, it seemed that a pervasive mood of unhappiness seemed to sink into many people.

After I attended a spiritual retreat, in a normally joyful atmosphere in which we ‘ate, danced, and prayed together,’2 I was convinced that I needed to do something to help others change this mindset. I began to teach a class twice a month called “Let the Beauty We Love.”3 We studied and practiced meditation, breathing practices, and the writings of many spiritual teachers from a variety of paths, including Sufism, Buddhism, Christianity, Taoism, etc. The topic or theme of each class came from whatever was arising in the group. They included concepts such as love, compassion, prayer, truth, etc. in the hopes that practices would fill the mind with thoughts of these qualities, attendees could begin to lead a happier life.

My own journey working with a variety of spiritual practices has been over 45 years. During the Vietnam War I was in college majoring in Fine Arts, and minoring in Art History. Many young men, injured in body and spirit, were returning from the war and finding solace in the religions they found in Asia: Taoism, Buddhism, and Hinduism, to name a few. It was during this time that I was introduced to a variety of ways of thinking about ‘God,” that were outside the way I was raised as a Catholic. Catholicism taught me prayer and deep devotion. Art History taught me that there are as many ways to God as there are people and cultures on earth. It is the human spirit’s need to express a connection to something ‘greater’ that is often found in works of art.

It’s like returning to the womb.

Naked and unclothed came I.

Only my essential spirit

Bared for all to see.

I leave here, alone.

No sense of identity, no garb

Returning to my essential self

To become immersed

In the eternal bliss.

Nina Massey

My journey has changed my life and brought great happiness and contentment. I pray daily for guidance in my life. It always seems as if by some kind of synchronicity whatever readings, tools, friends I need to help me do my work, appear. I was looking at a YouTube video and up came a very interesting ad, which I would normally click past quickly. 

I was intrigued that day and clicked on the ad. It was Vishen Lakhiani, author of the bestseller “The Code of the Extraordinary Mind.”4 I began reading his book and watching videos from the Mindvalley5 website. I found very interesting and motivating ideas. It appears that most of the Mindvalley employees are young adults, finding a way to work and live in a very innovative way in the world, with the end goal of making a change in the world. It gives me great hope for the future.

In his book, Vishen discusses a new goal which he has chosen, to create a school to help people learn whatever they want. I began to think about what I would consider to be the priorities for any school in the future. This question inspired the beginnings of this book.

Teaching Youth

Perhaps the greatest gift we can give to children, young adults and those young at heart, is the ability to make sense of the world, and the ability to make choices which help one be successful and happy. Helping some to organize their thoughts and their immediate world, make good choices, and think creatively and flexibly would bless them with the ability to create a full life, filled with happiness and achievement. How to do this? Throughout this book, ideas will be given for your consideration as paths to freedom of thought. Try some of them out! Remember it is through doing, through practicing, that we find our true way to express our spirit and the Divine within our hearts.

Endnotes 

Throughout this book, you will find many references to the writings of others in books, magazines, and on the web. Many people have inspired me on my path. I hope that if an idea intrigues you and you want to find out more about something, you will see the references to guide you to the originator.

[1] Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. 2006: Bantam Books.

1 Sternbergh, Adam. How to be happier. The Last Word. The week, Vol. 18, Issue 886/887. Aug. 24, 2018, p. 36-37. 

2 Samuel Lewis. From https://www.dancesofuniversalpeace.org/port/about.shtm

3 Coleman Barks, The Essential Rumi. Harper Collins, 2004.

4 Lakhaiani, Vishen. The Code of the Extraordinary Mind. Rodale, 2016. 

5 www.mindvalley.com