I am this body,
This wonder of life breathing.
A part of the call of the raven,
Of the stillness of the tall trees.
One with the frozen snow,
The shining sun and the blue sky.
Life calls to me,
Upon the wave of the breath.
Nina Massey
Believing in Yourself
| What do you love and find beautiful about yourself, inside, as well as outside? How do we help ourselves and each other grow to believe in ourselves and have self-confidence? |
One way is to see ourselves as successful at whatever we are attempting. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes and approximate a behavior while learning something new can be helpful. Self-esteem rises when we are successful and achieve. So, taking the first step and continuing to take actions toward a goal is of the utmost importance.
Helping kids’ self-esteem grow can be assisted by supporting them in learning something new. Letting them know as they reach each step on the way to finishing a project, that you believe in them and know they can do it, motivates a student to continue. Improvement at a skill will help build confidence, as well as completing a task or finishing a project. Compliments, specific to the action taken by a child to learn and grow help to instill a desire to continue.
Finding Beauty
| What makes us feel happy? Where do we find beauty in our daily life? |
Pleasure of course, comes from eating good food, feeling the joy of jumping in the pool on a hot summer day, walking in a beautiful garden or out in nature, etc. Living a meaningful life in which we feel fulfilled can also bring happiness. Helping those we love or volunteering in a project to change something in our community can bring a sense of satisfaction. Having quality relationships in which we do things for and with our friends and family can bring happiness. Taking a moment to ‘smell’ the roses, to see and enjoy the beauty around us can bring happiness.
According to Psychology Today,[1] seeking ways of thinking positively can bring greater joy into our lives. Taking a moment to see beauty in those we love, and in our environment can bring delight. By controlling where we allow our thoughts to go, to the positive rather than the negative, we can bring more contentment into our lives. Participating in meaningful activities, such as volunteering, helping our loved ones, joining spiritual groups can help. Cultivating an optimistic mindset with hope for the future is of vital importance. And being grateful daily for the blessings in our lives will increase a sense of well-being.
Recently I attended a spiritual retreat with many wonderful teachers. One spoke of how important it is for each of us to see the beautiful parts of those we love, rather than focus on their foibles. Sometimes we can allow our minds to perseverate on thoughts of another’s faults. How much better it would be if we could train ourselves to think of why we love them, why we want to be with them.
| Make a list of at least three people you love to spend time with. Find and name their beautiful qualities which you love. The next time you are frustrated with their ‘foibles’ call these wonderful qualities to mind, and let go of the frustration, impatience, anger. |
Following the Pied Piper
We followed the Pied Piper into the grove,
Exuberantly reciting the names of God.
As we walked in silence,
An expectancy arose around us.
As we traveled along the forested trail.
Allah awaits us in the grove.
Within us, he welcomes the celebration of life.
Nina Massey
Habits and Tendencies
How can we help children and those we love with negative mental tendencies? Probably the greatest influence is how we are moment-to-moment with one another. Modeling is the most important thing we do as parents and teachers. Finding what children do well, noticing and praising each approximation of the behavior for which we are looking, is one of the most motivating ways of helping children learn. And at the same time, we are influencing where their mind goes. We are teaching them that learning involves making mistakes and that that is natural and okay. It’s not wrong to make a mistake. It’s just part of growing. How many times do we do something for the first time perfectly?
Each conversation, interaction, acknowledgement, expression of approval, reprimand, leaves an impression on the mind of the other. We have probably all ‘run the hamster wheel,’ replaying an interaction over and over, wishing we said something different. This action of the mind digs deeper and deeper impressions. How much better it is to replay conversations that were fun, interesting, and full of love!
Walls are built to protect us,
To keep out danger and trespassers.
Walls are built to harbor us,
To give us shelter from turbulent winds.
Walls all around us, inside and out,
Walls to keep people in,
Walls to keep people out,
Walls between rooms,
Walls between lovers,
Walls between countries,
Walls between families.
Nina Massey
Cultivating Humility
All of us have tendencies to want to be better than others. Some of this tendency comes from a sincere desire to want to do our best. Our self-confidence and strengths help us succeed in life. However, having a realistic viewpoint of self, and a willingness to accept feedback and work on our weaknesses can help us socially. If we can listen to the ideas of others, admit we might need to change our viewpoint, we can have interactions with give and take. Asking for advice and help shows respect for the abilities of others.
Greater harmony in the home and workplace can arise from cultivating an unassuming, modest demeanor. Putting the needs and desires of others before our own can show how much we care for someone. Allowing others to have the attention and kudos, giving others credit shows great strength of character.
Who can know?
Who will be the judge
Of that which transpires?
Who can be sure that which is behind
That which is seen?
Who can know the meaning
Of that which happens,
Of these comings and goings,
Of life’s daily events?
Only the heart can know.
And only those who live in their hearts
Can be the judges.
Nina Massey
Hearing Each Other’s Truth
Because each one of us has had different experiences in life, we see the world from different points of view. Each person has their own ‘truth,’ their own lens through which they see life. Hearing how others think allows us to have insights into another’s heart, as well as perhaps finding a new way of thinking about the world which we have not thought about before. We also show respect and honor another when we truly see them as they are.
The old men in the sauna
The old men sit and ponder
The problems of the world.
As the sweat pours from their bodies,
The solutions to dilemmas pour from their minds.
Their repartee has a rehearsed feeling,
Having been played daily for years,
A light and free banter
Under which much is solved.
Nina Massey
[1] Greenberg, Melanie. 2016. 5 Proven Truths about Finding Happiness. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201609/5-proven-truths-about-finding-happiness