“In the face of demoralization, gratitude has the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope. In other words, gratitude can help us cope with hard times.” (Robert Emmons) [1]
Many of us are grateful for the small, daily gifts of our everyday life. We are grateful for our good health, for the strength to walk in nature. for good, healthy food, for warm coats and comfortable clothing, and for a safe, cozy place in which to live. Our personal lives allow for contentment.
For me, the greatest gift is the gift of friendship. Having companions to walk beside me in life is the most valuable thing I can have. Friends who listen and witness my story with love lighten my burdens. I need someone who can see that I have challenges and foibles, and still accept me as I am, to be able to fully love someone else, to completely open my heart and feel the joy of being with someone I love is the greatest treasure. Having an abundance of friends who enjoy doing the same things allows me to enjoy those activities even more. I see the joy in my friends’ hearts and it lifts my spirit.
Frequently, we are grateful for things that happen in the outer world, which may or may not affect our lives. We might be grateful for all those standing up for the rights of black and brown people, the members of the LGBT community, and for the safety and liberty of immigrants. We perhaps are grateful for the results of an election, hoping for a different future. We appreciate efforts to care for the environment. And we are thankful for benefits given to the poor and needy.
Other gifts that are so important to be thankful for are the events, and difficulties in our lives, which when they occur change the direction we were going in. Sometimes we need time and space to allow a perspective that sees how these challenges were of great benefit in the end. Looking back, we see that we would not be where we are today without the change that happened because of some catastrophic event. Sometimes we are so shocked and our life is so disrupted that it is hard to understand who we are for a time.
Learning and growing from a traumatic experience can be a gift. Talking with a friend or a professional, writing about our feelings, expressing and feeling our emotions as they arise can help us. Praying, using affirmations, wazifas, mantras can help to change our mental state and reduce our stress. Finding something we love to concentrate on for a time can also help. Walking in nature, taking a warm bath with fragrances we love, hanging out with a loved one are all ways we can reduce our stress for a time.[2]
There are many metaphors for change and growth that can help to reframe an experience. The metamorphosis of a butterfly, changing from a caterpillar, quiescent as a chrysalis, emerging as a beautiful butterfly is one. The myth of how the phoenix arises from the ashes, reborn again into a new life is another.
Let us remember to be thankful for al the gifts we are given.
[1] Robert Emmons. How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times. Greater Good Magazine. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_can_help_you_through_hard_times
[2] The Surprising Benefit of Going Through Difficult Times. 2017: Health & Wellness. Retrieved from https://www.uwhealth.org/health-wellness/the-surprising-benefit-of-going-through-difficult-times/50461