Month: July 2020

Thinking About Loving & Letting Go

Souls in a lifetime of experience,

Circling round and round

Toward the One.

Souls in a thousand rites of passage,

Traveling cycle after cycle,

Toward the One.

Souls speaking in a thousand languages,

Telling tales, legends & myths,

Toward the One.

Souls dreaming within a body of light,

Delving deeper into the mysteries,

Toward the One.

Nina Massey

Perception and Projection 

Ever wonder why when you go to a family gathering or a party with friends, everyone later has their own story about what happened?  Each one of us sees the world through a different lens. Our perception of the world is colored by our experiences.  Even in a family living close together each person has had a variety of different experiences, has learned and seen different things. 

Unfortunately, all of us have ‘stuff’ from our lives that sticks to us, and arises when triggered by a similar situation or emotion.  Sometimes we react in a way that projects part of the hurt from the earlier event out on the those around us.  It is a sad thing that everyone does this in some unconscious ways. 

Have you ever had an event, an interaction that runs through your mind over and over, as if you are on a hamster wheel, just going around and round on the same path? Ruminating, mentally chewing on the hurtful words and actions of family, friends, students, coworkers, pondering what you wish you had done differently?

Many people cling to stories of being hurt.  They tell their stories over and over, embellishing the pain.  They identify as a victim, and look to their friends and family to comfort them.  This is not the happiest and most functional way to get positive attention. Perhaps you have a favorite story of being hurt by someone you have told many times.  Consider what you are trying to get from your listeners. 

The silence is oppressive

Unconscious material

Floating unexpressed.

Years of silence

Under another rule.

Now in the name

Of spirituality.

I am too silent 

and still oppressed.

Nina Massey

Cleaning

Nearly every spiritual path in the world has some way to help people deal with their ‘stuff.’  After all, we all want to treat those we love with kindness and fairness.  In the Christian tradition there is the practice of confession and forgiveness. In the Yoga sutras, Yama is the God of Death, and the practice of yama is non-harming or non-violence. In the Heartfulness meditation path, we clear our samskaras (emotional memories) by sitting and “imagining all the impurities and complexities are leaving our entire system.”[1] A psychological practice is to repeat affirmations of qualities that we want to have replace those we want to leave our being.  Louise Hay has affirmations for pain in parts of the body. She believes that our thoughts and painful emotions are stored in our bodies, and can cause discomfort and illness. For knees, she recommends “I am flexible and flowing. Or I bend and flow with ease and all is well.”[2]  Prayer can be used to invoke a guardian, such as a prophet, an angel or a saint, and creating a protective energy field around you. 

Indigenous people often used scents, such as sage, to smudge or purify the atmosphere of a room.  Sacred music is sometimes used to change the vibrations. Feng shui recommends the ringing of bells or chimes. Some believe placing crystals or certain stones around a room is helpful with difficult energy. 

The bottom line with all these practices is believing in what you are doing, and letting go of whatever you need to.  When someone hurts us, and we have no more recourse to find a way to work with them, we need to forgive and forget.  It’s not saying that what someone did to us is not wrong.  It’s saying that we don’t want to allow that hurting, that pain to continue to make us feel ill, to continue to come out sideways during our interactions. 

The first law of energy is the conservation of energy.  This law states that energy cannot be created or destroyed.  It can only be changed or transmuted.  If there is negative energy in your environment it can be changed to positive energy.  It is not easy, but it is possible. 

One very simple practice is to watch your thoughts.  When you find yourself thinking bad thoughts about another, turn your mind to what you love about them.  If this is not possible, pray for forgiveness.  I use the Ho-oponopono[3] practice, and ancient Hawaiian way of thinking.  I simply begin to think over and over again, “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you.”  This practice requires acknowledging that you have a part in everything that occurs, in everyone’s way of interacting with you.  Over time, while using this practice, my mind has moved from resentment and hurt, to empathy and sympathy.  I frequently can’t change another person’s behavior, but I can change how I react to them, the energy that I put into the atmosphere in response. 

To sing the praises of God

Is the greatest of all pastimes.

Calling out from our hearts

The name of the One.

Making music of love,

The melody of sound.

Expressing our yearning,

Our longing for God.

Nina Massey

[1] Patel, Kamlesh D.. The Heartfulness Way: Heart-Based Meditations for Spiritual Transformation (Kindle Locations 116-117). New Harbinger Publications. Kindle Edition.

[2] Hay, Louise. 2013.  The Essential Louise Hay Collection.  Hay House, Inc. 

[3] Hoponopono:  How to Practice it in 4 Simple Steps. Retrieved from https://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/hooponopono-4-simple-steps/

Thinking about Loving Paradigms

Let us fill our hearts with our own compassion – towards ourselves and towards all living beings. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

Learning to be in the moment,

Sinking into the breath.

Becoming only this body breathing.

All sensation accepted.

As what this moment is about.

Thoughts put aside,

To hear the sound

Of the vibration of all being.

To feel the wine

Of the essence of all being

Flowing through all that is.

Nina Massey

Filtering through a Paradigm

As you are reading, you may find a conversation going on in your head, evaluating the ideas. Perhaps you immediately discard some thoughts that you judge as bad ideas, impossible to implement, too much work, something deep inside that you don’t want to examine. Many of us do this.  You are not alone. Each of us filters what we see and hear through a mindset, based on paradigms which are a lens that covers our vision. Often, we look for and listen to ideas that reinforce and agree with what we already believe. 

Freedom of thought allows us to openly consider ideas, and without judgement or further negative thoughts, and to let some go to the wayside.  Being open-minded means we allow ourselves to listen to and consider the ideas of others. Flexibility allows us to adjust and change our paradigms, fitting in new ideas we did no previously consider. Finding new ways to see the world and others in it is an opportunity to change our life.

According to dictionary.com, a paradigm is a cognitive framework containing the basic assumptions and ways of thinking shared by members of a group. Some call the spreading of a way of thinking ‘contagion.’ Most of us have several points of view or paradigms, sometimes referred to as lenses, through which we see the world.  We tend to want to hang out with others of ‘like mind.’ We find comfort in their reinforcement that our ways of thinking are right.  When we read or watch the news on TV or hear it on the radio, we tend to pay attention to points of view that agree and reinforce our existing views. If we don’t agree or like the speaker, we reach for the remote and change the channel. On social media, we only friend those who’s point of view we find agreement with. This is our mindset, often set in concrete and unchangeable. Taking the opportunity to consider the view point of others can be the beginning of many changes in our relationships with family, friends and co-workers. 

Shifting our paradigms can be difficult, but it is possible. It is by taking actions to think differently, to do practices that we can find an easy way to shift. ‘Practice’ is a term used in many spiritual communities to mean certain prayers, affirmations of qualities, cleaning of our energy field etc. This writing is about scrubbing our minds, clearing the way to openness and freedom to have positive thoughts. 

My heart will have a song to sing

Of love & joy.

Of the ecstasy of being.

One of the incredible lightness of being.

Of the knowledge that there is a greater life than this.

A song of warmth.

A song of joy.

A song of at-one-ment.

A true gift of Christmas.

Birth, death & rebirth.

Loneliness comes from a heart

That touched the One.

A separation from this is

A parting of light into darkness.

Loneliness,

Depression,

Alone.

Nina Massey

Habits and Tendencies

Many years ago, Arthur L. Costa[1] developed a way of teaching students how intelligent people act in ways that help them succeed.  He included characteristics such as “persistence and managing impulsivity, listening with understanding and empathy, thinking flexibly, etc.” He wanted to find a way to help students understand and realize that many of the patterns in their minds were simply tendencies and habits.  One can train one’s mind to react differently, with open-mindedness, and thus act with more intelligence.  I say also from my own experience that one can train one’s mind to look for beauty, to forgive, to feel gratitude, and thus have a happier outlook on life. 

The Comedy of the Vain

Ah, the vain, glorious beauty of heroes.

Once pride was a valuable commodity

A great weapon of strength and survival.

But pride is the enemy of surrender

The obstacle of softening into allowing

The Divine Bliss to flow freely.

Have no comedy with the vain.

Look not at the peacock strutting,

Nor listen to the squawking pride of the turkey.

Look instead deeply within

Finding the One Lord of Bliss

Softening every hard place to the flow.

Nina Massey

Judging and Classifying 

Classifying means putting something into ‘classes.’ Creativity can be stifled by the habits and tendencies we have to judge our own work and that of others. Mentally comparing it to some external referent that we judge to be better can be detrimental. Being creative means being open to surprises and new possibilities, and not expecting and seeing the worst in our projects and in other people.

Sometimes people have a comfort level and sense of security that comes with being able to name something, to label it and therefore close the door to any further thought about it.  People often use personality tests and models to do this, such as Meyers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc.  It allows one to put someone in a box, say oh, that’s …, and dismiss them from the mind. One suggestion might be to not be too quick at naming and labeling. Using these instruments to understand the ways of others might be more helpful. A deeper look under the outer appearances may bring new, different and creative thoughts to mind.  Be open to knowing that we all only know a small part of someone. They may have many other facets like a jewel, of skills, abilities, traits, that we have not yet seen, because they are manifest in a different setting, time, interaction, etc. 

My Mother’s Legacy

A legacy of sorrow,

Regret, unfulfilled longings,

Always wondering how things

Could be, should be, might be.

A legacy of tears,

Compassion for her own depth of sorrow

Her own regret and unfulfilled longings.

A legacy of determination,

To live a life of love & fulfillment

To openly communicate

And carry out our destiny.

A legacy of faith

Lived through daily works

And daily knowledge of God

In our hearts and souls.

Nina Massey

Reacting 

Many times, in our lives we react with anger, impulsively pushing out our thoughts and feelings in a dark, negative way toward others.  Sometimes we wonder where did that come from?  Why do I feel so bad, so deeply about this thing others might consider small and not so important? We feel as though ‘we have our backs up against the wall.’  Perhaps we could continue to ask ourselves a few questions to find the source, the memories of other times that were in some way like today’s incidence.   All of us walk about with baggage, carrying with us hurt, pain, disappointment, disillusionment, etc. Being able to remember to take a deep breath and look inside for our part of a situation, and not just impulsively hurting another, helps us improve our relationships. 

Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len was a Hawaiian therapist who healed criminally insane patients in a hospital by healing himself. He practiced and ancient Hawaiian way called “Ho’opnonpono, which means to make right.”[2] When we accept that we are responsible for what we see in the world, because we see it through our minds, we begin to understand what Hew Len did.  He accepted that he had a part in everything he saw outside of himself, because he created his point of view in his own mind. He thought about each patient individually, and he prayed this prayer to them with all of his heart and mind in focus: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”  

[1] Costa, Arthur L. and Kallick, Bena.  Learning and Leading with Habits of Mind. ASCD, 2008. 

[2] From http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm

Thinking about Loving Qualities


How can we bring ourselves into a more positive, desirable condition so that our lives are happier?   

In Japan a scientist names Masaru Emoto[1]studied the effect of emotions on the formation of snowflakes. He found that the more positive the energy,  with qualities such as love and gratitude, the more beautiful and perfect the shape of the ice crystal.   He was able to photograph and document his study. He theorized that if everything is made of energy and vibrations, the energy we put out into the world can affect everything it touches.  

One of the ways that can improve our thoughts is to increase our concentration on bringing more positive qualities into our lives. In spiritual paths, these attributes are called virtues, the beautiful names of God, or are even seen as God/desses.  Various practices can be found whose purpose is to bring these essential characteristics deep into our hearts. 

We will examine here just a few essential qualities which can make our world a more peaceful and joyful place in which to live. 

I know I’ll love you

Until the sky cracks open at dawn

And lets the light in.

I know I’ll love you

Until the jewel of the heavens

Falls to the Earth.

I know I’ll love you

As long as time.

I know I’ll love you

With the rising of each wave

Of the rushing sea.

I know I’ll love you

Always and forever.

Nina Massey

Compassion & Loving Kindness 

The light was like paint

White paint, thick and moving,

Flecks of green, red and yellow.

Surrounding our heads.

The green was of love and healing.

The red of anger.

The yellow of the earth

Mixed into orange

The color of a need for community.

They needed to be there.

They brought their troubled spirits

And the glow of the pains and the joy

And mingled it freely

With the light of the spirit.

Nina Massey

The first and most important quality for developing better relationships is compassion and empathy.  A considerate friend, partner or teacher is desired and needed by all human beings.  We want to have those near us, who are sympathetic when things are not going well.  We want someone who listens with their heart and tries to understand in a loving way without judgment. Kindness and tenderheartedness, listening with empathy, allow us to help others to work their way through their problems and issues. 

Stand up for the truth.

Be a voice crying out.

Crying out

The needs of the soul.

Name the trouble.

Be a voice crying out.

Crying out

For the rights of the troubled.

Stand up for the truth.

Nina Massey

 Forgiveness

To let go

To leave it behind,

To go on.

Regret

Looking back,

Returning full force,

The circle incomplete.

Beauty,

Wholeness,

Perfection,

The circle complete.

Harmony,

Happiness, Prosperity,

The circle whole.

Nina Massey

Everyone messes up and makes mistakes.  We all have moments of tiredness, feeling ill, moments when we are upset from interactions with others not present with us at another time.  We mistakenly say things we later regret.  Going back and apologizing, telling the one we have wounded that we regret our actions because we care about them can help to clear the air, if the other person is willing to forgive and accept our humanity.  

At the heart of the matter,

It’s the hearts that matter.

The matter of inner pain

Glimpsed deep in sad young eyes.

The matter of outer pain

Expressed in disrespect and anger

Hurting others so the hurt inside is not so big.

The matter of being unable

To help or change the karma of lives

Revolving hearts of pain

Over and over again.

Nina Massey

Is it worth it to ask yourself, do you forgive the small stuff?  Do you tell your children it’s ok, it’s normal to mess up?    

Some things that happen are harder to forgive than others, and may need deep psychological counseling. One of the most important things as a parent is to always go later to your child after a difficult moment and tell them you love them.  Always tell your child or your partner you love them and care about them before they go to sleep each night. 

There are many ways to cultivate forgiveness.  One way is to use an affirmation each morning, such as this one from Louise Hay: “As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.”[2] The Bible has many forgiveness passages, such as this one:  “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.”[3] In some paths, there are names of the desired qualities which can be repeated daily to develop compassionate forgiveness. Reminding oneself of the intent to forgive others each morning can bring greater contentment throughout the day. 

“If you find any fault with anybody, pray for their freedom from it.”  Lalaji[4]

Life longing for itself

In full recognition of the moment

When love is fully present.

Wanting that mirror and echo

To name what is there.

And in the naming

Stepping away from the love,

The tiny distance bridged

By the recognition

In the eyes of the other.

This longing to be one

The energy of Ishq

Known only in the mirror

Of the eyes of the heart.

The longing is the need and the knowing at once.

Nina Massey

Gratitude 

Finding ways to show how thankful we are can help us turn our thoughts to the good things in our lives. The benefits of gratitude on our health have long been studied and documented.  I ran across an interesting page of the web[5] with the titles of 648 articles on gratitude.  There are links to the many scientific studies on the health benefits.  The bottom line is that any way we can be thankful for the blessings in our lives will improve the quality of our lives. 

Try some of these: 

            Remember to express your loving gratitude in the moment to another. 

            Send a quick text or email to someone to thank them for something they said or did. 

            Keep a gratitude journal.  Each night, make a list of 3-5 things from the day that you feel appreciation for.

            Instead of counting sheep, fall asleep thinking of the things from your day for which you are thankful 

[1] Emoto, Masaru.  The Power of Love and Gratitude Made Visible.  Retrieved from http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

[2] 101 Best Louise Hay Affirmations of All Time.  Retrieved from https://www.louisehay.com/101-best-louise-hay-positive-affirmations/

[3] Forgiveness Bible verses.  Retrieved from https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/forgiveness-bible-verses/

[5] The 31 Benefits of Gratitude You Didn’t Know About: How Gratitude Can Change Your Life.  Happier Human.  Retrieved from http://happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/

[4] Lalaji.  One Beautiful Thought.  2018: Heartfulness. 

 

COVID & the Hero’s Journey

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. (Joseph Campbell)

Joseph Campbell speaks of the hero’s journey.  The heroine leaves on an adventure, encounters challenges and difficulties, overcomes them and then returns home.  Perhaps this metaphor can be used for living in the times of COVID.  We have left our normal lives, gone on a journey that is both inward, as well as outward.  We are encountering many obstacles to a ’normal,’ happy life in separation, in isolation while social distancing.  And we all hope that at some point in the future, we will return ‘home’ to a greater physical closeness to our families and friends.

This crisis has provided both dangers and opportunities. We follow protocols, such as wearing masks, frequent hand washing and staying at least 6 feet away from others to protect our health.  Many are in danger financially, having been laid off from their jobs.  Challenges arise in interpersonal relationships, as those living in the same house spend more and more time close together, sharing space and resources. Differences arise and become bigger somehow in our perceptions.

And yet, the opportunity to have more time to do the things we love has arisen.  If we are not working, we can play music, create art, write stories, read more, mediate more etc. The potential for self-improvement and self-fulfillment is enlarged by the opportunity to make choices with what we do with our time. Each of us is responsible for our own adventure during this time.

It takes courage to enter deeply into our inner life.  In the quiet, we can hear our inner voice.  It can be the guidance from our hearts, or it can be the rerunning around the hamster wheel, deepening and retelling negative stories about our experiences.  If we use time to lovingly do spiritual practices, we have the chance to enter serene and peaceful states of being. We can stretch ourselves, asking “the universe to open doors where before there were only walls before us.” (Campbell)

Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging. (Joseph Campbell)

Making a choice to “follow our bliss” as Campbell says, gives us the opportunities to find happiness during this time. If we can look at our fears closely, and find the courage to act and move forward, we can find greater happiness.

Happiness

“I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience, I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”  (Dalai Lama)

Happiness

What makes you happy? Make a list of at least 10 things that bring joy to your heart.  

The University of Pennsylvania offers a survey called the “Authentic Happiness Inventory[1].” The process of completing it can help one consider what makes one happy.  Also, simply making a list of what parts of your life make you happy is a valuable pursuit. 

How do you find meaning in your life? Do you have purpose and value in your daily activities?  

Many people derive a state of well-being from living a meaningful life. When I retired from teaching in Alaska, many of my friends were also at the retirement stage of life.  We frequently talked about the value of what we had done with our lives. The question frequently discussed was this.

Do you think you have spent your life in a worthwhile way?  How would you like to change it?  

According to Psychology Today happiness is “a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life.”1

What makes a ‘good life?  

Om Fuente

O source of all love, light and joy

Connect me with my inner being,

Filled with unconditional love.

Connect me to the source

Of all grounding energy, Mother Earth.

Connect me to the fountain

Of light from Father Sky.

Connect me to all creation.

Let me feel the connectedness.

Om fuente.

Nina Massey

Cultivating Feeling with the Heart

Finding ways to connect to one another with the heart can allow us to be happy with those with whom we work.  The ability to collaborate begins with being able to feel good about those we are working with.  Indeed, helping one another brings a sense of fulfilment. At a retreat which I attended in the fall of 2018, one of the teachers said that we should focus on what we love and enjoy about another, not on their ‘foibles,’ minor weaknesses, flaws, defects, and problems. I remembered this each time I felt annoyed with another.  When I switched my thoughts from the challenges and difficulties to the fun and positive qualities, somehow the struggles were lessened. Feeling and interacting from the heart, being empathetic, finding joy with what arises, learning to laugh at oneself, are all ways of lightening the day and the workload. Motivation is increased with feeling inspiration, enthusiasm and encouragement and other qualities which come from the heart. 

Chanting the Song of Love

Opening our hearts,

Receptive to beauty

Listening to the sound,

The beauty and rhythm

Of each individual.

The unique vibration of one another

The pattern and rhythm of being

Flowing in the energy of the group.

What is the song of love?

Note by note it enfolds

Wrapping our being

In a cloak

Of the Divine Essence.

The melody is a caress

Of the harmony of the group.

The angels come to sing with us.

Open our hearts, listen

The song of love is all around us,

Waiting to be heard.

Nina Massey 

Cultivating Gratitude

One of the most important things we can do for our own well-being is to cultivate gratitude.  Learning to see the beauty in each moment, to really accept all the gifts given to us, no matter how small they may seem is one of the most important ways of finding happiness. 

Make a list of at least 5 things for which you are grateful each day.   

Thank you

For the sun on the mountains,

The moon and the stars at night.

Thank you

For the snow on the mountains,

the wind and the light.

Thank you

For the clean, clear water

Raining down on the land.

Thank you

For the light, gentle breeze

Blowing, breathing by.

Thank you

For the breath and life within

Filling my heart and my soul.

Nina Massey

[1] University of Pennsylvania.  Authentic Happiness.  Retrieved (2019) from https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter

1 Happiness.  Psychology Today.  Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/happiness

Identity: Community & Separation

With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. – Dalai Lama

A Story about Our Paths

Early one Sunday morning I arose before dawn to go to my usual meditation satsang. When I went out to my car, I saw that there was a very thick fog covering the ground.  I could only see a short distance ahead on the old two-lane country road.  Since there were not too many cars on the road at that time of the day on Sunday, I thought I would be all right on the 20 min. drive to my friend’s home.  I began to think about the fog as a metaphor.  I could recall many times in my life when I moved forward with faith that all would be all right, but I could not see very far down the road. An impatient man in a truck began tailgating me, wanting me to go faster, but I couldn’t because there was a car in front of me. He decided to speed up and pass us.  I prayed that no one would be coming from the opposite direction.  We couldn’t see far enough to know if it was safe to pass.  Then I prayed that I would not come upon his wrecked truck down the road somewhere. It made me think about the risks we take when we get in a hurry to advance on our spiritual paths. The fog thinned out when we moved away from the lakes and rivers, then thickened again. I arrived safely at satsang and felt deep gratitude that nothing else happened. I reflected on the idea that reality can be foggy and sometimes I can’t see myself or others truthfully. And perhaps, I am afraid to look too deeply at my inner self.

Rachel’s eyes sat pale and lit

In the light of the dim morning.

Empty and vacant, ringed with pain.

Conversation and thoughts scattered

Between cigarettes and cups of coffee.

Longings expressed in fantasies of

Mismatched jewels and sparkling gowns of satin.

Nina Massey

Understanding Ourselves and Others

One pastime I enjoy for relaxing is reading novels, mysteries, stories about other people that present characters that have a different perspective on life and make me think about how I think about others. I was recently reading “Sweet Wind, Wild Wind[1].”  It is a wonderful story about a woman who returns to the ranch on which she grew up and examines her family life through the lens of a historical project for a university.  Here is one of her realizations: “It was as though reality were a book in which each chapter contained a different version of the same story, and everyone who looked at it saw a different chapter, a different slice of history, a different view of life.”

When I lived in Alaska, for seven summers I went on retreats with a spiritual teacher to a place south of Juneau on the Inside Passage, which we called Wolf Track Bay.  We arrived by boat or seaplane each summer to camp out for 10 days in the wilderness, where there was no sign of humans.  No electricity or devices, no noise of cars, just quiet nature all around us. We each had our own tent and we had a teepee for group meetings.  Each year 13 brave souls participated, as that was the number allowed for the wilderness permit. One year a librarian came from our local school district who had never been camping or in the wild before.  One day a small group of us went for a walk up the creek into the valley.  When we came back to the group meeting in the teepee, our leader asked us how the walk was.  You would have thought we were all on a different journey.  The poor librarian was scared and uncertain the entire time, worried about bears.  I had spent the walk reassuring her, helping her through the mud, and telling stories to distract her from her fear.  I had noticed how beautiful the land, the mountains and the sea were, and tried pointing that out as well. A couple with us was arguing about something, and took a short detour to keep their discussion private.  Others had other versions to relate. I always remember this series of events because it reminds me that even when we are together, some will notice and remember different things about what is happening.  Our thoughts and memories are deeply colored by our different perspectives.

Each person can take a look at their inner self, looking at how they think, take actions and react.  Looking at our concept of self, and how it has been influenced by family, friends, schoolmates, co-workers, can help us see ways in which we can make changes to improve our lives. This can be a difficult task.  The challenges of the wounded inner heart give counselors and psychologists job security.  

But consider this!  There is no other person in the world that we can know and understand better than ourselves. Even those close to us, our partners and family have many different experiences from ours. Learning to listen with an open heart is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and to our loved ones. If we can be present, listening with appreciation, empathy and compassion, really hearing what another is saying, understanding and responding appropriately, we will greatly improve our relationships.

My Friend Kabir

Kabir said to me,

Why am I here?

The Lord works his wonders in many ways.

Sing praises to Allah.

Who am I?

The Lord has worked his wonders in many ways.

Sing praises to Allah.

Kabir wanders about the town

Wondering who he is and why he is here.

The answer comes hidden

In the beauty of daily work.

All praise to Allah.

Nina Massey

Ways of Looking at Others

Perception is a way of using the senses to understand the world.  Sometimes we perceive things that are real.  Sometimes we use media to learn about things which may or may not be real. The way we think about what we see and hear in the world can be influenced by our feelings and emotions.  It can also be influenced by our storehouse of previous impressions, called samskaras in Hinduism.  Our ‘mindfield’ is full of impressions from our previous actions and experiences. These can be subtle and mysteriously influence the way we respond to others.

Sometimes, as a defense mechanism, we react and project undesirable feelings and emotions on others when we are in a difficult situation.  These projected feelings are often from our storehouse of unwanted memories and impressions of similar situations.  We can be triggered into feelings that are stored in our bodies, hearts, and minds. We assume that we know what the other person is feeling, based upon our own prior feelings in an analogous situation. Psychologists say that we are in denial that we have these negative feelings inside ourselves and then we attribute them to others. For example, someone who reacts with anger may have a great storehouse of unconscious, denied anger, and always be bothered by others who react with anger.

I lost something that day.

I lay in my bed

On my stomach.

The marks across my back

His footprints.

Marks of where and how

He forced me.

Lying under white sheets

Curled in a ball

Filled with shame.

Waiting.

I lost something that day.

The rhythm of my heart

Out of beat with my soul.

It would take a lifetime to regain it.

Nina Massey

Identity

Forming an identity or sense of self is a natural process which begins in childhood. Our self-concept, our view internally of our strengths and weaknesses, is a key component of our identity.  We also can identify with the groups we belong to, our schools, churches, political affiliations, sports teams, hobbies, etc.

Today in the political arena identity has been weaponized.  Being called a Democrat or a Republican, a Liberal or a Conservative is being used to divide and conquer.  Gender, race, sexual identity etc. are frequently used to divide people into ‘us’ and ‘them.’  Sometimes belonging to a group can be healthy, allowing one to have a sense of belonging to a group of friends who are interested in doing something together or are of like-minded beliefs and viewpoints. Sometimes group identity can be counterproductive and separate us from others, thereby reducing our chances for friendship.

Mandala of Opposites

Winter & Summer

Spring & Autumn

North & South

East & West

Stars & Moon

Clouds & Sun

Solar System & Atomic Structure

Hot & Cold

Order & Chaos

Gold & Carbon

Superior & Inferior

Safety & Danger

Peace & War

Love & Hate

Angel & Devil

Pride & Humility

Harmony & Disharmony

Inner & Outer

Light & Darkness

Heaven & Hell

Nina Massey

Comparison & Superiority

Identity can be used in a dysfunctional way when we compare our selves or the groups to which we belong as better or worse than another. It’s worthwhile to spend some time watching our thinking process and how this dynamic operates in our lives. Our motives and intentions as we relate with others bear watching.  If our self-concept is low, we might want to act or talk as if we are superior to others. Insecurity is often at the root of the drive to appear to be better or the best.

Another aspect of identity worth noticing, is the need and desire to label things or groups of people. Labeling is perhaps a way to tell others what they should think and how they should behave, based on the label ascribed to them. Stereotyping, bullying and self-fulfilling prophecies can arise from use of labels. Sometimes a ‘label’ becomes a stigma, and separates us from others.

The Blue Jay

Out of the silence

Into the fray

The blue jay steps

With audacity.

Perched on the edge

Of the great unknown

Squawking with glee

In the midst of melee.

Nina Massey

Labeling Theory

One of the most serious consequences of labeling others is that this label may become a self-fulfilling prophecy or a stereotype. In schools, labeling a child as having a learning disability may affect their self-concept for the rest of their lives. Separation from others can also occur when we dislike Democrats and only want to be part of the Republican Party.  This belief can influence outlook and behavior in ways that are counterproductive. We may react in a negative way if we know that someone is a ‘liberal’ or has ‘right-wing’ beliefs. Any label applied to others which causes us to feel aversion can lessen our opportunities to make friends and show love.

Consider the labels which you apply to yourself and to others.  Do they allow you the ‘dream’ the life you want into being?[2]    

Dreaming of Bear

I have been running from bear,

Afraid of my innermost thoughts,

Afraid of the silence and the void.

I have been running from bear,

Protecting the new young places in me,

Running in fear from the knowing.

I have turned and faced bear,

And fed him the sweetness of truth,

The honey of friendship bringing us together.

I have been running from bear,

Closing the door to inner wisdom.

In confusion, shutting out the teacher.

Why was I running from bear?

He reminds me of my inner strength

And brings me gifts of self-knowledge.

Nina Massey

Identity Politics

Skin can be our protection or our enemy. Many challenges arise from the color of our skin, be we brown, white, black or yellow. Also, the thickness and thinness of our skin can sometimes be an issue in our relationships.

According to Louise Hay, skin problems can arise from anxiety, from worries and from old impressions or samscaras.[3]  Someone who is thin-skinned is extremely sensitive to offhand comments, criticism, put downs. They are soft and tender like a baby or a young child, not yet guarded against the pain and turmoil of life. If we are thick-skinned, we are said to be tough, impervious, insensitive.

When we are self-conscious, when we think about ourselves and how we believe others think about us, we can become reactive, worried, concerned, anxious. Perhaps we need to step back and take the point of view of the person we are concerned about.  What is happening in their life?  Did they get enough rest the night before?   Are they worried about their loved ones?  Have they been experiencing failure in some part of their life? All of us react out of our own reality.  Yes, there can be stimulus outside ourselves that causes us to react.  Perhaps we rerun a situation around and around the hamster wheel in our minds, wishing we acted different or that someone we care about didn’t say something to us. Negative self-talk can be debilitating and self-defeating.

One of the stances in A Mindset for Learning[4] is resilience.  Resilience is our ability after failure to get back up and try again.  If we realize that mistakes and failure are a normal part of the process of learning, we can say, ‘OK, that didn’t work or go well.’ Reboot, rethink and consider another path or solution. And try and try again.

There is a time for inner reflection and a time for focus on the work we are doing. My dear friend and teacher Nuria Sabato recommended “renunciation of thoughts of the self.”  My teacher Shabda Khan always told us that it is thinking about ourselves, and thinking about what we think others may be thinking about us that distracts us from thoughts of the Divine. When we can set aside our problems and issues and focus on the prayers and spiritual practices, we can enter a state of being in which the Divine speaks to us. We can listen and hear guidance.  Let us all find a way to hear ‘The Spirit of Guidance.’[5]

[1] Lowell, Elizabeth.  Sweet Wind, Wild Wind, p. 89.  1987:  Severn House Publishers Ltd.

[2] Life Potentials:  What is labeling Theory Psychology?  The World Counts. Retrieved from http://www.theworldcounts.com/life/potentials/what-is-labeling-theory-psychology

[3] Hay, Louise.  The Essential Louise Hay Collections.  2013:  Hay House, Inc.

[4] Mraz, Kristine & Hertz, Christine.  A Mindset for Learning.  2015:  Heinemann. 

[5] Hazrat Inayat Khan.  Vol. IX: The Unity of Religious Ideals.  Part III:  The Spirit of Guidance.  Retrieved from https://wahiduddin.net/mv2/IX/IX_15.htm

A Spiritual Path

Being on a Spiritual Path: Simplicity 

To me, walking on a spiritual path with someone means you are a friend of my heart and soul, and I will stand with you, beside you, whatever your actions or choices.  This ‘loyalty’ has always meant to me something like the relationship of Shams and Rumi. Once we enter into deep states together, led by one another, we are deep friends of the heart, walking a spiritual path side by side. We will always be deeply connected on the inner plane, you, and I, and all those we have sat with and prayed beside. 

Finding a spiritual teacher can be simple. Look for someone who uplifts your heart. Today, many people have several beings in their lives who can inspire them. Each of us can find our way to one who has gone before us and can lead the way, perhaps only for today, perhaps for a longer time.

One way to improve our being and our habits of thinking and reacting is through inner introspection. Awake early enough each day to have time to commune with your spirit, with your heart and soul. Find a comfortable, quiet, and safe place to sit quietly. Pray to the One daily. Do practices as guided by your spiritual guide.

Throughout the day, take time to think about God and your teacher. Read the writings of the spiritual teachers who attract you. Don’t rush the reading. Give yourself time to contemplate the teachings as you go about your daily activities. Perhaps a paragraph, a half-page or a page a day fills your heart, mind and connects you to your soul.

Attend gatherings with those on your path. Love them and their company. Learn from your companions. See the mirrors that arise to show you the way.

My Beloved Teacher

A glimpse of my teacher through the trees,

I run down the path

With great gladness in my heart,

Knowing the welcoming embrace that awaits.

If only I could remember this

And run into the embrace of the Beloved,

Each moment with joy and gladness,

Welcoming the embrace of the One.

Nina Massey

Thinking About Loving, Living and Learning 

In the writings of the great Sufi masters, the analogy of a garden is used to help one understand spiritual progress. The garden of the heart can be cultivated. Experiences of spiritual upliftment, wondering at the beauty of nature, feeling the love of a kind mother or father, or a loving friend, being inspired by the exalting influence of a teacher all cultivate an understanding of the Divine energy. They assist in the flowering of unconditional love, flowing like a fountain from the heart of one into that of others. These experiences bring joy to the hearts of both the giver and the recipient. 

Many indigenous people believe that we dream our life into being. Our thoughts and points of view direct us to choices that create our lives. Because many of our choices are driven by unconscious projections from our store of woundedness, we move about as if in a dream, not seeing reality as it truly is. 

In Hinduism, the concept of ‘Maya’ points to the appearances of the phenomenal world as an illusion. Perhaps this is because we all see everything in our daily lives differently. We see through the colored lens of our minds and unconscious thoughts and feelings. 

Consider your thought patterns. What are the things in the outer world which bother or irritate you? How are they related to your own past experiences?

What are the things in your life which bring you to a loving state of being? How do you find joy, delight, and happiness in your daily life? 

Paint Pots & Spontaneity

The road that has been the most well-traveled

Has deep, deep ruts

That are difficult to maneuver.

Indeed, that are as hard to stay in

As they are to get out of.

Nina Massey

Hopefully, you will find many thoughts, ideas, and techniques that might help you improve the quality of your life. The energetic state of being in which we exist can change the quality of our lives and the lives of those around us and even the state of the world.

Having worked with hundreds of children from preschool age and up, as well as adults, teaching and coaching for over 40 years, I have watched and learned much about our brains and our minds, relationships, and group dynamics. I hope that there will be seeds of ideas and methods in these writings, that will help you to find ways of changing your actions and thereby your state of being, so that you are happier, and therefore those around you will be influenced by your state of joy and bliss.

I awaken singing

With heart and soul.

Show glare tenderly.

I’ll miss you.

Show love tenderly.

Come close to me.

Come play with me.

An angel of the light, the fire,

Reflects the firelight.

The snow reflects the snow,

The night and the stars reflect the night.

The moon reflects the sun.

A puddle reflects the light of the sun.

In the mirror of the heart,

What will we reflect?

Nina Massey

You might want to keep a reflection journal. Try answering some of the questions. Consider just reading a post or less each day, allowing your mind to reflect, absorb, and integrate ideas. Try some things during your workday, when you are with those you love when you are making choices about what to do.

Thinking about Diversity

The issues of racism are multilayered, and deeply a part of our culture. I too grew up not thinking a lot about racism until high school.  I went to a Catholic School in an Irish neighborhood. The Irish in Ohio were looked down upon at that time.  I became aware of racism through one main event.  In high school. I was in the national honor society and we had a group that did things together, sponsored by the school, the top ten kids in our class. Typical of teenagers, one time I went to a party and had too much to drink.  I asked a friend to give me a ride home.  I thought I would be in trouble for drinking, as I had not previously indulged (and never wanted to again).  But when my Dad came to the door to let me in, to my dismay, he freaked out because my friend who kindly gave me a ride, a friend from out top ten group, was black. 

What I have learned over these 41 years of teaching is that I have an obligation to learn about the lives and experiences of my students.  In Alaska, the Native people stood up for themselves and their culture.  They brought into the schools an excellent Native Studies program, which taught us about their culture.  We learned about rituals and ceremonies, the history of the terrible treatment of the Natives by white people.  Because they were told in the 30s and 40s that they could no longer speak their language and must speak white, the children whom I served qualified in the bilingual program as Limited Engish Proficiency (LEP).  Limited vocabulary had passed down through three generations. We also learned about cultural styles of communication, such as the practice of not looking into the eyes of someone who is upset, because one could take on a deeper impression and karma. 

Now I am trying to learn as much as I can about the history of African Americans, and listening to their stories.  My school had previously chosen the book All American Boys for a summer book talk group for staff.  This discussion has been interesting and enlightening, especially hearing the white privilege arise, and trying to tactfully open my own eyes and the eyes of others. What I am noticing for myself in these discussions is that sometimes I am not seeing from the point of view of others, out of not having had a similar experience, or not looking at it in the same way.  I am also reading White Fragility, in hopes of understanding more.  Last summer I took a graduate course at Ohio State called Issues in Urban Education.  I read a book about the history of redlining in Columbus, OH where I teach.  It was eye opening.  Because the instructor and more than half the participants were Black, I got a real taste of the pain this has caused. I want to learn and understand the experience of black people in America more deeply. 

I agree with you that it is one child at a time.  As a reading specialist, I often advocate for minority students to their classroom teachers and the administration. It’s a challenging position to stand between kids and teachers.  Sometimes, I can only stand up for their hearts when they are with me, letting them know I love them and their specific, beautiful qualities. During the lockdown, I tried to build close relationships with parents and show empathy for what they were going through.  I tried to be flexible with ways of giving instruction, as probable 70% of our kids did not have access to wifi. and appreciate whatever guardians could do for their child’s education.  And when they began to call me to ask for help and advice, I knew I was succeeding with that family. 

I think empathy is one of the greatest qualities we can develop when working with helping others.  

Children are Our Future

I love children. They are so fresh in their perspective, so insightful in their comments, so naturally loving. When children have the opportunity to be around those who respect, honor, and listen to them, they learn to do the same. When through difficult conversations, boundaries are set and the challenges and darkness of the world are explained in a kind and hopeful way, children learn resilience. They learn that life is sometimes good and sometimes bad and that they can find their way through all the mazes and puzzles of living. We can, through example and role-modeling, help them to achieve their highest potential.

Setting a Clear Intention

It is my hope and wishes that through considering the ideas here, you can move toward your life’s purpose with love, harmony, and beauty. Let us all find ways that assist us in filling our lives with greater love, both in giving and in receiving, especially when we are with youth.

You are what you think

When I was in my early 30s I realized that I would sometimes fall into a dark mood that might last for a few days. I had no idea what caused it. Usually, there did not seem to be a precipitating event. I woke up one day and realized that this was happening and I wanted to be different. I realized that I could evolve, change my habits, grow into the fullness of my being. I wanted to find clarity in each moment and know my purpose each moment. I wanted to find a way to stay positive and upbeat for the kids in my classes. I began to look for activities and groups which lifted me and helped me evolve. My exploration of my inner life has continued to this day.

Now I awaken each morning, excited to arise and meditate and do yoga. I prepare for my day by absorbing the energy of the love field and moving in it throughout my day. I do practices of gratitude, forgiveness, love, and guidance. Often, I go through my day happy with the laughter of an easy relaxed sense of humor. Sometimes I weep with sadness for my family, my friends, my students. And yet I thank the Divine for having led me to find ways to change my life, that I might be of greater service to humanity. 

Once I worked with a woman who was new to our school. The entire 6 months she was there, she complained about how our school was different from the schools she worked in before. I felt sorry for her because she was so unhappy and discontent all the time. 

I wondered if she knew she was making herself unhappy by always thinking of the differences she did not like, instead of noticing what a calm, peaceful place she was now working in.

Rene Descartes, an early philosopher said famously, “Cogito, ergo sum” or “I think, therefore I am.” This saying can be interpreted in many ways. Perhaps most important to the health of our inner life, it is asking us to notice how our thoughts affect our emotions and our happiness. 

Where is that loving place in my heart?

That place of ecstasy

That fills with bliss?

Where is that loving place in my heart?

I call to it and it is covered

Buried by an energy I do not understand.

Does this veil come from within,

To be mirrored without?

Where is that loving place in my heart?

Nina Massey

Mindsets

Our mindset is our way of seeing the world. It is composed of the thoughts, ideas, and concepts that we allow to run around frequently in our thoughts. It is our point of view, how we think about what we experience with our senses. We can change and adjust it.

What patterns of viewing the world do you notice in your thought processes?

In Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence, he speaks of “habits of emotional management.[1]” These are the activities and ways in which we ‘soothe’ ourselves when we are upset. It may include functional things such as exercise, walking in nature, talking with a trusted and empathetic friend, prayers, meditation, etc. A less productive way might be eating a big ice cream cone -soothing, but perhaps not the best choice.

In this book, there will be many ideas and suggestions for soothing oneself as an adult, and for soothing others as a parent, teacher, boss, etc. Not all ideas will be for everyone. 

But having a large toolbox can help one in responding helpfully when others are in need.

Looking forward: Becoming a hero-heroine

What makes someone a human being you would like to emulate? Who do you admire most?

What does it mean to have a noble and courageous character? Each of us is capable of fulfilling our deepest inner ability to raise the vibration of the world. By finding ways to live and love, to learn new ways of thinking and being in this world with a positive attitude, we can affect a change in those around us. With qualities such as humility, patience, and caring for others, we can help, perhaps one person at a time to find hope and joy in life. 

At the Parliament of World Religions in 2018, Onaubinisay (Walks Above the Ground) or Dr. Jim Dupont gave a talk which can be watched on the web at https://youtu.be/AB-Fi31klTs

He is an elder of the Ojibway-Anishinabe of the Marten Clan and originally from the Shawanaga First Nation on Eastern Georgian Bay. 

He spoke of how we must live our lives in the best way we can. We can “live our lives in this world in a way that touches the Spirit directly…Everything that we do is spiritual…Live your life in the most direct way. Express yourself in the beauty of life.” By fulfilling our soul’s purpose through the guidance of the Spirit we can bring love, happiness, and beauty into the world.

I offer this day, this walk,

To bless the Earth

Upon which I tread.

I offer these rocks

Atop one another

As a sign to all

Who may pass this way,

That they may be blessed.

May the breath of God

Wave the fronds of ferns

And palms of the devil’s club

In a greeting of welcome

To all who pass this way.

Nina Massey

The Future of the World 

What would you like the world to be like in 20 years? In 50 years? In 100 years?

How do you think you can help this vision become your ideal?

Consider this: Our children will be running the world. 

What kind of consciousness do they need to have to create and maintain a better world? How do they become the kind of leaders we want to see running our world and caring for our earth?

Very young children learn by imitating what the adults in their lives do, how they live, their habits, how they talk. We are their role models in every moment of our lives. 

How is what you are doing affecting others with whom you spend time? What habits and tendencies do you have that you want your children to see? And which ones do you want to hide and not show your children?

This is what I have learned.

To look not ahead nor behind,

But to look only in the moment with love

Upon the being which my eyes

And heart behold.

To look with truth,

With my own eyes

With my heart & soul

Guiding & teaching me.

Nina Massey

Being on a Spiritual Path: Simplicity 

One way to improve our being and our habits of thinking and reacting is through inner introspection. Awake early enough each day to have time to commune with your spirit, with your heart and soul. Find a comfortable, quiet, and safe place to sit quietly. Pray to the One daily. Do practices as guided by your spiritual guide.

Throughout the day, take time to think about God and your teacher. Read the writings of the spiritual teachers who attract you. Don’t rush the reading. Give yourself time to contemplate the teachings as you go about your daily activities. Perhaps a paragraph, a half-page or a page a day fills your heart, mind and connects you to your soul.

Attend gatherings with those on your path. Love them and their company. Learn from your companions. See the mirrors that arise to show you the way.

My Beloved Teacher

A glimpse of my teacher through the trees,

I run down the path

With great gladness in my heart,

Knowing the welcoming embrace that awaits.

If only I could remember this

And run into the embrace of the Beloved,

Each moment with joy and gladness,

Welcoming the embrace of the One.

Nina Massey

Thinking About Loving, Living and Learning 

In the writings of the great Sufi masters, the analogy of a garden is used to help one understand spiritual progress. The garden of the heart can be cultivated. Experiences of spiritual upliftment, wondering at the beauty of nature, feeling the love of a kind mother or father, or a loving friend, being inspired by the exalting influence of a teacher all cultivate an understanding of the Divine energy. They assist in the flowering of unconditional love, flowing like a fountain from the heart of one into that of others. These experiences bring joy to the hearts of both the giver and the recipient. 

Many indigenous people believe that we dream our life into being. Our thoughts and points of view direct us to choices that create our lives. Because many of our choices are driven by unconscious projections from our store of woundedness, we move about as if in a dream, not seeing reality as it truly is. 

In Hinduism, the concept of ‘Maya’ points to the appearances of the phenomenal world as an illusion. Perhaps this is because we all see everything in our daily lives differently. We see through the colored lens of our minds and unconscious thoughts and feelings. 

Consider your thought patterns. What are the things in the outer world which bother or irritate you? How are they related to your own past experiences?

What are the things in your life which bring you to a loving state of being? How do you find joy, delight, and happiness in your daily life? 

Paint Pots & Spontaneity

The road that has been the most well-traveled

Has deep, deep ruts

That are difficult to maneuver.

Indeed, that are as hard to stay in

As they are to get out of.

Nina Massey

In this book, you will find many thoughts, ideas, and techniques that might help you improve the quality of your life. The energetic state of being in which we exist can change the quality of our lives and the lives of those around us and even the state of the world.

Having worked with hundreds of children from preschool age and up, as well as adults, teaching and coaching for over 40 years, I have watched and learned much about our brains and our minds, relationships, and group dynamics. I hope that there will be seeds of ideas and methods in this book, that will help you to find ways of changing your actions and thereby your state of being, so that you are happier, and therefore those around you will be influenced by your state of joy and bliss.

I awaken singing

With heart and soul.

Show glare tenderly.

I’ll miss you.

Show love tenderly.

Come close to me.

Come play with me.

An angel of the light, the fire,

Reflects the firelight.

The snow reflects the snow,

The night and the stars reflect the night.

The moon reflects the sun.

A puddle reflects the light of the sun.

In the mirror of the heart,

What will we reflect?

Nina Massey

You might want to keep a reflection journal. Try answering some of the questions. Consider just reading a chapter or less each day, allowing your mind to reflect, absorb, and integrate ideas. Try some things during your workday, when you are with those you love when you are making choices about what to do.

Introduction

The Gates Foundation spent 575 million dollars studying teachers to determine what makes a good teacher. In the end, it came down to the individual being of the teacher in the classroom. 

Not the programs, not the school, not the testing, not the rigorous evaluations, but how the teacher interacts with the kids minute by minute. So, how do we find and allow the best teachers to teach?

What makes a great parent? 

There are probably as many opinions as there are parents in the world. But if surveyed, parents might have many common values, such as love, patience, kindness, interest, enthusiasm, etc., particularly among those in similar cultures.

Perhaps it simply comes down to the being who is in the room with others, be they children or adults. A human being filled with love for others, with excitement and enthusiasm for life, and curiosity for learning can inspire and motivate those around them. Whatever the role or relationship, if one is fully present and attentive, listening, hearing, and considering what is said with the heart, one can inspire and quicken the life force of another, and have an elevating influence. 

Come, walk beside me

Along the river’s path.

The scent of the earth

Rising beneath our footsteps.

Come, walk beside me,

And hold my hand along the way.

And I will hold you tenderly

And soothe your broken heart.

Come, walk beside me,

Along the way of life.

To live and laugh and love

Even in the way of strife.

Nina Massey

A Path

Every human being on earth deserves to live a happy and healthy life. The human spirit can be nourished by our thoughts. Our consciousness is one part of us that brings us to life. When we take our last breath, our mind will then take a respite and stop thinking for a while. In the meantime, we are frequently plagued by unpleasant thoughts going around and around in our brains, causing stress and emotional upset. In this book you will read about ideas and techniques, practices, that can be used to help cultivate develop a calm and peaceful mind. Many different ideas will be considered. 

An open mind and heart will hopefully be able to find some ways to bring life into a more desirable condition.

Like many others, my path has sometimes followed a difficult and arduous road, finding my way to living in a state of peace and happiness. Like many of us, growing up in a lower-middle class family in the 50s and 60s was fraught with challenges. Being politically correct was not yet on the radar. Feminism was just beginning to take hold. The rules and strictures of society determined how many of us were taught to behave. Thinking about consciousness did not become popular until the late 60’s when the Beatles came back from India. The influence of the Maharaj-ji’s on figures such as Krishna Das, Ram Dass, Steve Jobs, Daniel Goleman, Julia Roberts, and Mark Zuckerberg did not become well known until the 21st century. 

Now mainstream media portrays the techniques used by many of the Dharmic (Buddhism, Hinduism, etc.). Dharmic practices can place one in harmony with the cosmos. In many of these spiritual paths, watching the breath is a way to focus the consciousness, to connect our body and mind through our spirit. Dictionary.com defines spirit as “an attitude or principle that inspires, animates, or pervades thought, feeling or action.”

The emptiness.

Going inside and listening

To the void,

Empty of all thought.

Filled by the Divine,

With that understanding

Which is coming into being

Created and formed by hands

Manifested for all to see.

Nina Massey

How can we learn to direct our minds to ‘inspire and animate’ our lives in such a way that we are happy and successful? 

While I was researching different things for this book, I kept running across the word ‘hedonic.’ This word refers to those things in our lives from which we find pleasure. 

What are the things which bring pleasure to you? Do they bring momentary pleasure, such as eating an ice cream cone, or is it a deep, long-lasting pleasure, such as that which comes from spending positive time with those we love?

We can choose to live the way we do by how we use our minds. There are thousands of self-help books and gurus out there who are willing to give us clues as to how to examine and use our thoughts to help us. Some say that life is just a series of moments, one following the other in a series until there are no more thoughts or moments. If we can teach and help others learn one thing, I think it is this. 

A collection of moments

That’s what life is.

We make meaning of our experiences

When we are present in the moment.

Nina Massey

What do we choose to allow our minds to be filled with each moment of our lives?

There is an ‘unhappiness epidemic’1 in the United States right now. I noticed it acutely after the 2016 Presidential election. Many of my friends were very depressed and feeling hopeless. Others were feeling defensive, defiant, and fearful, wanting to hold onto the status quo. Throughout the year, it seemed that a pervasive mood of unhappiness seemed to sink into many people.

After I attended a spiritual retreat, in a normally joyful atmosphere in which we ‘ate, danced, and prayed together,’2 I was convinced that I needed to do something to help others change this mindset. I began to teach a class twice a month called “Let the Beauty We Love.”3 We studied and practiced meditation, breathing practices, and the writings of many spiritual teachers from a variety of paths, including Sufism, Buddhism, Christianity, Taoism, etc. The topic or theme of each class came from whatever was arising in the group. They included concepts such as love, compassion, prayer, truth, etc. in the hopes that practices would fill the mind with thoughts of these qualities, attendees could begin to lead a happier life.

My own journey working with a variety of spiritual practices has been over 45 years. During the Vietnam War I was in college majoring in Fine Arts, and minoring in Art History. Many young men, injured in body and spirit, were returning from the war and finding solace in the religions they found in Asia: Taoism, Buddhism, and Hinduism, to name a few. It was during this time that I was introduced to a variety of ways of thinking about ‘God,” that were outside the way I was raised as a Catholic. Catholicism taught me prayer and deep devotion. Art History taught me that there are as many ways to God as there are people and cultures on earth. It is the human spirit’s need to express a connection to something ‘greater’ that is often found in works of art.

It’s like returning to the womb.

Naked and unclothed came I.

Only my essential spirit

Bared for all to see.

I leave here, alone.

No sense of identity, no garb

Returning to my essential self

To become immersed

In the eternal bliss.

Nina Massey

My journey has changed my life and brought great happiness and contentment. I pray daily for guidance in my life. It always seems as if by some kind of synchronicity whatever readings, tools, friends I need to help me do my work, appear. I was looking at a YouTube video and up came a very interesting ad, which I would normally click past quickly. 

I was intrigued that day and clicked on the ad. It was Vishen Lakhiani, author of the bestseller “The Code of the Extraordinary Mind.”4 I began reading his book and watching videos from the Mindvalley5 website. I found very interesting and motivating ideas. It appears that most of the Mindvalley employees are young adults, finding a way to work and live in a very innovative way in the world, with the end goal of making a change in the world. It gives me great hope for the future.

In his book, Vishen discusses a new goal which he has chosen, to create a school to help people learn whatever they want. I began to think about what I would consider to be the priorities for any school in the future. This question inspired the beginnings of this book.

Teaching Youth

Perhaps the greatest gift we can give to children, young adults and those young at heart, is the ability to make sense of the world, and the ability to make choices which help one be successful and happy. Helping some to organize their thoughts and their immediate world, make good choices, and think creatively and flexibly would bless them with the ability to create a full life, filled with happiness and achievement. How to do this? Throughout this book, ideas will be given for your consideration as paths to freedom of thought. Try some of them out! Remember it is through doing, through practicing, that we find our true way to express our spirit and the Divine within our hearts.

Endnotes 

Throughout this book, you will find many references to the writings of others in books, magazines, and on the web. Many people have inspired me on my path. I hope that if an idea intrigues you and you want to find out more about something, you will see the references to guide you to the originator.

[1] Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. 2006: Bantam Books.

1 Sternbergh, Adam. How to be happier. The Last Word. The week, Vol. 18, Issue 886/887. Aug. 24, 2018, p. 36-37. 

2 Samuel Lewis. From https://www.dancesofuniversalpeace.org/port/about.shtm

3 Coleman Barks, The Essential Rumi. Harper Collins, 2004.

4 Lakhaiani, Vishen. The Code of the Extraordinary Mind. Rodale, 2016. 

5 www.mindvalley.com